


9:58

by Lloyd1000



Series: Unexpected [2]
Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Hurt Matthew Casey, M/M, Romance, Sevasey fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:21:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lloyd1000/pseuds/Lloyd1000
Summary: "...It began like any other day... with a call to a house fire that changed everything... and everyone."
Relationships: Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide
Series: Unexpected [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1787713
Comments: 14
Kudos: 31





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story can be read as a stand alone or a sequel to my first story Unexpected. 
> 
> It follows the show to a point. I do have plans to change somethings. 
> 
> I hope you'll like my story. Please tell me what you think of it. 
> 
> Hopefully, I won't disappoint you all.

Two fraternal twins starred expectedly at the owner of the bar, Molly’s. They had gone to Molly’s for years now. They had also known her for just as many years. She was now an older woman with brown but graying hair and dark, warm eyes. She still had the look of experience; someone who had seen things, she would never likely forget. She was a hard worker and very kind. She always was even now. She came back to Chicago to reopen Molly’s, a few months after the ten story building collapse that had killed everyone. 12 years ago, she lost her husband to a car accident which had been one, the biggest, of many reasons to come back. 

She had sad eyes and a pained smile as she remembered. The twins smiled just as sad and just as pained as they asked,

“Tell us the story about our fathers. Where did it all begin? How did they meet? Dad and Daddy were not big on talking about their past. We just want to know…” She glanced at pictures of two men, in their uniforms back before they had married and at their wedding that hung on the far wall across from the bar as a tear escaped down her cheek. She sighed, quickly wiping away the tear. Her breath hitched and she had to walk away before she began to cry. Even after ten years, it’s still painful to think about.

The twins glanced at one another in confusion just as she came back. She handed them a flash drive. 

She explained at their confused expressions,

“All we need is the computer and the tv and all will be revealed.” The twins nodded as they went and set up the tv so they could play the drive through the computer to the tv. The older woman set up the video then waited to press play. The twins got comfortable as she played the first video. 

The twin’s father, appeared on the tv. He spoke although raspy and his face looked very bruised and his eyes looked very tired. He still looked like he would’ve made it instead of what actually happened. Their father on the screen looked like hell, and had been through hell but still looked alive. They still smiled painfully and tears formed in their eyes. The female twin held onto two sweatshirt jackets that had Truck 81 and Squad 3 on them. 

_“Antonio is that on? Are you recording?”_ Antonio who was behind the camera said while the twins glanced at the woman and noticed tears were forming and falling from her eyes and they missed the beginning of what was said,

_“... I’m recording. Relax.”_ She smiled sadly at hearing her brother’s and the man’s voice as tears flowed down her face. They watched the man nod before he spoke again. 

_“.... hope you are well and on your way through either the Fire Academy or are already in a firehouse or at some college. I wish I could be there to watch you both succeed. Your father and I both do. I’m going to tell you everything about us. How your father and I met; to how we ended up with two beautiful twins. I know you wish I could have lived to stay with you but the truth is… I couldn’t. The doctors called it a surge. It’s where someone with fatal injuries gets a surge of good health. That’s why...”_ He went silent as tears suddenly fell from his face. The twins watched him quickly wipe them away before he continued. The twins tuned back into the conversation a few minutes later,

_“... man I loved and I couldn’t live without him even if I had survived. I loved him more than life itself. He was my rock. My home and my shelter. My everything._ _So when I say I wish I could watch you both become the best firefighters in the world or whatever you had chosen as your career; I truly wish I could. But I can’t because of this surge. I don’t even know how long I have left._ ”

_“Had the both of us survived; yes we would be there. So instead I’m going to tell you about our life before our life. And that means the beginning. I know we hardly ever say anything about our past but that’s because we have had too much pain.”_ Once again the twins had to tune back into the conversation be they had gotten lost in memory lane.

_“... most, with his mother going to jail for killing her husband and him going into the foster care system. And me with my dad. I’ll get to that._

_The point is we have experienced something no one should have but we did and we made the best of it._

_We had our ups and downs though more often was it the downs and then when we got the two of you? We had more ups than ever before._

_We love you both. I think I’ve rambled enough for I only have so long. This is our story.”_ They watched as their father took a pained breath before he continued, 

_“It began like any other day…"_

**... Engine 51, Truck 81, Ambulance 61, Squad 3....**

_“...with a call to a house fire that changed everything… and everyone.”_ As the man on the tv continued, the older woman wandered painfully down memory lane with him.


	2. Chapter 1 Pilot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. It just took a while to write because it's so long. I had to take breaks in writing. That's why it was so long before I updated this. I hope you'll enjoy it. 
> 
> Tell me what you thought! Like if there should be something I should change or fix! Onto the chapter!
> 
> Trigger warnings for depression (Just in one part but still warnings) and the feels!

The day had been normal. Not a lot of calls or drills to do. So the men of 51 were just enjoying themselves. By playing cards, watching TV or just talking and hanging out. Two men were in one of two Lieutenants' offices and were just enjoying each other's company. One of the men, on the bed, watched as the other man talked about something serious or laughed at whatever joke that had made them laugh. He loved the man sitting at the desk but was too afraid to say it. Whenever they made eye contact though, it was like lightning had struck them both. They just knew that they were meant to be. They had wanted each other but they never would nor could act on it, for the rules. Two officers of any rank couldn't be together and work together. It was a conflict of interest. On this particular day, both men had spoken to their best friend at different times throughout the morning and he said to them both,

"Just go for it. You never know what the other feels. He could feel the same or not but you'll never know unless you try. Damn the consequences!" then moments later a call came in, 

**House fire, 788 Maple Street. Engine 51, Ambulance 61, Truck 81, Squad 3.**

And just like that, they were rushing to their respective trucks.

* * *

The fire trucks peel out of the fire house, responding to the active fire at house on 788 Maple Street. The men of all of the trucks were getting ready, so that when the trucks stopped, they would be able to hit the ground running.

“Guys, how do I look?” One of the men inside truck 81 joked as he put his oxygen mask on sideways staring all stoic like. Another man sitting in front, turned around to glance at the man with his mask on sideways. The one in front with the look and air of authority answered also jokingly,

”As usual. Like the class clown.” The men chuckled a little. The man in the front seat questioned smoothly to another man from a different truck over the radio.

“Yo, Serveride. How soon till you can take Darden off my hands?” In another truck, the man known as Serveride answered with a jest as well as he laughed. Thinking nothing bad could ever happen to this team. This friendship. 

_“Andy makes Squad the day after I’m no longer in charge.”_ The men laughed again as they turned onto the street with the house fire. The trucks all pulled over on both sides of the street blocking any access to this road. It was for everyone's safety; firefighters and the neighborhood. The men quickly climbed out of them as two men, one in charge and the other known as Andy, walked over to the owner of the house. The woman pleaded with one of men who was in charge,

”The attic. My brother lives up there. He hasn’t come down.” That same man pointed up to the third story window as he asked,

“That window there?” The woman confirmed the man’s question. As Severide walked up behind them putting his gear on as he walked.

”Yes, I haven’t seen him. Oh God.” The woman had started to hyperventilate and needed to sit down so another firefighter walked her away from the front of her house over to the paramedics. While Severide and the other man spoke to each other. 

“Think there’s a guy in the attic.” the man told Severide as he finished putting on his gear. Andy glanced up to the third story just as Severide and the other man had before he said, 

”I’ll raise the aerial.” then ran over to Truck 81. Severide and the man agreed with what Andy had said with just one look at each other. Severide then stated, 

”He could be on the stairs, in the hallway, anywhere.” Then began to move toward the back of the house as he continued, “We’ll go in the back work our way up.” Just before Severide turned to follow the rest of his team he smiled cockily before he bet the other man,

”Case of beer we get to him first.” The other man didn’t want a bet but smiled within his mind and told him sternly,

”Just vent the back.” Then walked away to Truck 81 and Andy. He questioned Andy as soon as he walked up,

“Was Severide always such a cocky prick?” Andy began to climb the truck to get to the aerial on top as he answered,

”Only since kindergarten.” Meanwhile, Severide and his team were almost to the back of the house. Another man, who was truly in charge said over the radio,

_“This is Chief Boden. Want an inch and 3/4 on the front.”_ While Boden was talking into his radio, Andy and the other man began their climb up the aerial to the attic window on the third story. Boden continued,

_“Need two 2 1/2s on the neighbors’ houses. I want my entrance through the rear and ground ladders to the roof.”_ Severide made it to the back and found a door. He demanded to one of three men behind him,

”Halligan.” one of the men handed Severide the halligan he then used to break the back door with one hit. Squad 3 waited for Severide to give ok to enter the building. Seconds later, Severide firmly told his team,

”Let’s go!” Then entered the back door to began the search for the missing man that lived in the attic of this house. Severide expertly moved about the floor and ordered his men,

“Hey, check over there!” then proceeded to move in a different direction.

As Severide searched the bottom floor and was slowly making his way up to the top he heard a voice over the radio.

* * *

The voice Severide heard came from the man who was on the aerial with Andy, he spoke over the radio,

”Severide, do we have a vent?” Then the man had ordered Andy to wait as he saw he was about to break the window. But Darden didn’t listen and broke it anyway. Andy and the man both slightly ducked for any flames that would rush to them. However, nothing happened and Andy told the man behind him,

“We’re good.” Then broke the rest of the glass so he could climb in. Just then, Severide over the roaring flames answered the other man’s earlier question,

_“Casey, there is no vent.”_ As soon as the man known as Casey heard that he knew he had to immediately call Darden back. He tried to get him to come back but again Andy didn’t listen and climbed further in.

* * *

Meanwhile, Severide heard over the roaring sound of the fire, a door slamming shut behind him and saw smoke rushing into the vent on the side of the wall. He yelled to no one in particular,

“Get down!” Then dodged away from some steps and fell to the ground landing heavily on his shoulder, hearing something crack. He grunted in pain as the fire quickly traveled up the stairs and toward unsuspecting firefighters, Andy and Casey.

* * *

The flames flew up the stairs, searching for the oxygen from the broken window and rushed toward it. Andy turned so fast, fell to his knees and reached out to Casey with a scared look on his face as flames roared over his body.

”Darden!” Casey yelled and watched as the flames rushed over his friend. Casey had to duck before the flames hit him but he heard Darden scream and he had seen the look Andy had on his face. The flames blasted just barely above Casey’s head. Casey, as soon as it was safe to, looked up at his friend’s burned body; frozen in place. He would never forget the screams that Andy had made nor the face he made upon his death or the smell. He bowed his head in sadness and anger. He thought while in shock,

_(This wasn’t supposed to happen! It was just like every other day! Why did this have to happen?!)_ Another firefighter climbed up the aerial behind Casey and helped him down for he was in shock and would’ve stayed up there. While Squad 3 had found and gotten Severide out of the house. The rest of the firefighters managed to put out the fire but at a great cost.

* * *

A month passed and everyone was still raw, angry and sad over their friend, Andy’s death. Especially Casey and Severide, they were angry at everything and each other. Casey walked into the firehouse and went straight to Andy’s locker. He opened it and began to clean it out. Casey placed everything in the locker into a box. As Casey was doing this, another man walked in and demanded,

”What the hell are you doing, Casey?” Casey barely spared the man a glance as he calmly answered him,

”Can’t stand looking at this another day, Vargas.” Vargas understood where Casey was coming from and remembered Andy’s wife would want whatever Darden had in his locker. He told Casey as such. Casey then pulled down a few pictures and stopped when he saw one of himself, Severide and Andy sitting at the table playing cards. He then finally glanced over at Vargas, 

”Yeah, I’ll call her.” Vargas then pointed over his shoulder as he began to change out and got ready for work and said,

“Boden’s looking for you.” Casey shut the locker then peeled Darden’s name off of the locker and placed it onto the box. Casey then got changed before he grabbed the box and walked out of the locker room.

* * *

He was heading toward the common area when Boden stopped him.

“Casey, you want to step into my office?” He stopped and asked as he made his way toward Boden’s office.

”Rumor’s floating around you’re going to box in the drop-a-cop. Fight that guy who slept with your first wife?” Boden fixed the facts that Casey had gotten wrong.

”It was my second wife, and she’s his problem now, not mine. So, no, I’m not boxing him.” Then lead him into the office. As soon as Casey was inside, he saw Severide sitting in one of the chairs. He had half-a-mind to turn around and leave but Boden shut the door putting a ripple in his plan. Severide stood up and moved to the front of Boden’s desk just as Casey slowly walked over. Both men stood at slight attention as Boden sat down behind his desk. He explained,

“Mayor Emanuel’s coming by on Saturday to mark the month since Darden-” but he stopped halfway when he saw the looks on both of his officers. He told them firmly, 

“This animosity... has got to stop. You’re both supposed to be leaders here. Lead by example. We’ve all been through it. Andy was a friend to all of us.” Severide sneered over at Casey saying,

"Yeah, he was.” Casey immediately demanded as he stared at Severide angrily,

”Is there something you want to say?” both men glared at each other and Boden had to step in before both of his leaders went to blows and hurt each other. 

”See this? This right here. This is exactly what I’m talking about.” Severide immediately backed off, if only to get the Chief off of his back so he could get out of the room. He told the chief,

”You’re right, Chief. I’m sorry. It’s all good.” Then Casey saw what Severide was doing and took the same way. It was only to get out of this room with the man that he still had feelings for but couldn't say anything now because both himself and Severide were currently mad at one another. He told Boden,

“We’re fine, Chief.” Boden sighed and didn't believe either of his officers but he had no choice. He had to let them figure it out. Boden couldn't be responsible for his two officers' petty squabble. He had to watch out for all of the men under him. So he dismissed them both out of his office, 

"Then that’s enough for now.” Both men walked out after Boden told them to leave. Severide walked back to his squad at his table. While Casey went to the common area and tried to call Darden’s wife.

* * *

Severide was sitting at his table with his squad when he saw and heard one of the truck guys talking to a new firefighter, 

"Rescue Squad a-holes. Think they own that table." then pointed toward another room as he continued with the tour, "Kitchen." then told him of another area, "Tower." then Severide watched as both men walked inside the equipment room and disappeared. A few minutes later, Ambulance 61 gets a call for multiple gunshot injuries at 934 Roosevelt Road and they take off blaring their sirens.

* * *

A man was in the kitchen calling for everyone, "Throw away for cooking club." then placed a few dollar bills onto the counter. The men walked over and began to place money as well on the counter. The man behind the counter called one of the men,

"Hey, short arms, long pockets." then pointed at him, "Yeah, you." Vargas walked up and placed some money then walked away asking another man, who was sitting on the couch reading a newspaper.

"How did Herrmann get the chef job?" the man on the couch merely answered without looking up at the one who was talking to him, 

"No gag reflex." Casey walked up placing a few dollar bills onto the counter when he realized that one of his men was here in the lounge and not giving a tour to some kindergarteners. So he asked, 

"Otis, what happened to your tour." the man named Otis answered his lieutenant’s question,

"Our new candidate." Casey then walked toward his new candidate. He got there just after he just finished with the PASS alarm beeping. The new candidate was telling the students about Squad 3 as Casey watched.

"See, this house is special because it has a Rescue Squad. Squad 3 serves a big piece of the city.” Severide smiled at the praise from this new candidate and slyly watched Casey out of his peripheral. He continued listening to the praise,

“They're experts at Water Rescue, Extraction, pretty much everything. They're like the best of the best." A little girl questioned the man who was telling them about Squad 3,

"Why aren't you with them?" The candidate told them,

"Well, I mean, I plan to be. My father was a member of this squad years ago." Casey spoke up then,

"Mills, right?" the new candidate named Mills glanced up at his lieutenant. Severide also glanced over at Casey and looked him up and down before back at his cards as Casey continued a little hatefully, "Last to show, first to go. That's Rescue Squad." Severide smiled at little at the line that Casey had said and asked him,

"You truck guy do such a good job getting everything ready for us. Why would we want to take that away from you?" Severide watched Casey closely to see if anything he said would hit a nerve. Casey went on with his slander as he chuckled,

"Kids, you should know they make the rescue helmets extra big to fit their heads inside them." Severide knew he was going to piss off the man he loved by saying this but at this moment he didn't even care and said it anyway.

"There are two types of firefighters. Those who are on Squad, those who wish they were on Squad." Casey's jaw tightened ever so slightly, barely noticeable but Severide did. Mills stood there watching both men before he decided to take the kids away. 

"Come on, kids" then Mills led the kids away from the two fighting lieutenants. Once Mills and the kids were out of ear shot, Severide took no time in betting his former friend that Mills would join him and leave Truck.

"Bet I get an application from him by the end of the month." However, Severide didn't really expect Casey to say this when he had bet him about Mills but he should have. Casey gave up. He would let Severide take his candidate and he didn't care. Casey was too hurt by Severide's words more than anything but he wouldn't let it show. 

"He wants you, you can have him." then walked away leaving Severide to ponder what had happened.

* * *

As Casey walked away, he began to remember a painful time back before he was a lieutenant for Truck 81.

_Casey and Severide had taken everything to get on Squad. They were getting closer every day and if everything went right, Severide was going to ask Casey out and start dating. They were going to celebrate later after they had gotten the results. But on that day, Casey never in his wildest dreams would've ever thought this happened. Instead of getting an email or letter or a phone call telling them both that they made it, Severide was told by his father that he made it. While Casey had to actually go to the Fire Academy to hear the news. Casey was told that,_

_“I’m sorry but you are not qualified to be on Squad. You were never qualified. Take the Truck Lieutenant position.” He was so embarrassed because they had said that in front of other recruits who were told that they had passed. He never understood why for weeks until one day when someone came and told him._

_“I was a distraction? For Kelly? That's why I'm not qualified for Squad?” After that person told Casey that, he stayed away from Severide and just opted for being his friend. He never told him what happened and he probably never will._

Minutes later, Casey shook his head to clear the thoughts of the past just as the call came in.

**Pin-in accident. Columbus Drive Bridge. Ambulance 61, Engine 51, Truck 81. Squad 3, Battalion 25.**

Then Truck 81 was off. Sirens blaring and the horn honking. While Squad 3 took their time getting ready.

* * *

The trucks were barreling down the road to get to the accident. As they were driving, Casey thought it would be best if Mills learned from one of his more experienced firefighters and told him so,

"Mills, shadow Mouch. Walk with a purpose, but don't run. Take it all in, know the details of the situation before you act. Oh, and Mills, don't be a crow." Mills glanced to his left and saw Mouch next to him. The trucks pulled onto the bridge and they saw that it was a two vehicle accident. Both cars had crashed head on and into the railing of the bridge. As soon as the trucks stopped, Casey was the first one out of Truck 81 and walking toward one of the cars. He immediately noticed a woman and a kid was stuck inside the car. When he arrived at the red car, Casey spoke to the woman as he tried the handle, 

"Ma'am? Can you hear me?" the handle on the car was stuck and the woman was more worried about her child in the back seat then herself and she tried to tell Casey that, 

"My daughter-" when she heard her daughter groan in the back seat. "Madeline?" she asked her daughter as someone yelled to another firefighter just as Squad 3 made it to the bridge,

"Hey, Cruz, grab the saw!" The woman worriedly yelled for her little girl, 

"Madeline! My little girl." Casey could see the little girl in the back and reassured the mother that her daughter was ok and that he could see her. He then turned toward Squad 3 as they were climbing out of their truck, walking toward him and told them,

"Get the jaws!" while he walked around the back of the car to get to the little girl. As Casey walked around the back of the car, Boden announced into his radio,

"This is Chief Boden, I'm gonna need two more ambulances and a helicopter." Casey heard the woman try to calm her daughter as he told one of the paramedics about the situation. 

"Dawson. Mother, daughter trapped. Both responsive." the paramedic named Dawson walked up to the car and asked the little girl in the backseat,

"Can you hear me?" Casey supplied her name to Dawson and she asked through the partly open window,

"Madeline? Are you hurt, honey?" Madeline looked at Dawson and shook her head that something was hurting and Dawson continued to question her,

"Okay, can you tell me where you're hurt?" Madeline answered fearfully and in pain,

"My body." one of the men working on the red car to get both mother and daughter out noticed that the car was leaking gasoline fuel so Herrmann got on his knees to watch the fuel that was leaking. Meanwhile, Dawson was still talking to the little girl,

"Okay, you mean your tummy or your chest?" Madeline told her that it was her chest that was hurting while her mother was telling her that she loved her and that everything was going to be ok. Then she told her,

"Madeline, look at mommy." All the while Squad 3 worked on getting the front door open so they could get the mother daughter out of there. Mouch happened to notice that the other car had it's windshield partly opened on one side. So he swore,

"Oh sh- He's in the water. He's in the water!" Boden was watching his men work on the car when he heard Mouch say that so he had to ask, 

"Who?" Mouch clarified who he was talking about and pointed to the water below the bridge just as Severide and another firefighter got the driver's door from the red car off its hinges. Boden yelled over to Severide and his men,

"We think we got one in the river. Go." They ran back to their rig as they told Boden that they were on it and started to get in their scuba gear. Casey and the other firefighters were still trying to get the mother out of the car. Dawson still was talking to the little girl. 

"Listen, Madeline, I want you to see if you can turn your head toward me. Can you do that?" Madeline did what Dawson had asked and Dawson saw that the little girl had a huge gash on the side of her head. Casey and the rest of the firefighters as well as another paramedic finally managed to get the mother out of the car. She yelled for her daughter as they helped her get away from the car. Dawson climbed into the car so she could get a better look at Madeline. She tried to calm her,

"It's okay." Meanwhile, Severide and his team were now ready to go over the bridge and into the water to search for the missing driver that may have be ejected out of his car. Severide commanded to his men,

"All right, Husting and me are going. Capp and Hadley on Rit and run the line." then Severide and Husting went over the side of the bridge. Just then the steady fuel leak that was under one of the cars erupted in flames causing Dawson to shield the girl and the firefighters to get a hose on it. While all of that was happening, Mills noticed from where he was standing that the other driver's jacket was still in the car. He then turned around and saw amongst the crowd of people, one man stood out from the rest. Mills shouted to anyone who would listen, 

"That's the driver. Stop that guy." Severide gave the ok and began to be lowered by rope down the side of the bridge and into the water below. Someone over the radio announced,

_"We got the driver. He's in custody."_ Boden then stopped the dive for they had the driver, 

"Cancel the dive. No one is in the water." Both Casey and Mouch looked at their chief before Casey went back to work on getting Madeline out of the car. Dawson was still with her trying to keep her calm and still until they could get her out. She told her, 

"It's okay." Just as the door was pulled off its hinges and Dawson's partner was standing there waiting for her and the little girl. Madeline was scared and she told Dawson that. Dawson's partner told her,

"Let's get her out of here." Just as they were about to pull her out of the car, Dawson saw something on her neck and stopped moving her immediately. She told her partner,

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, look at her jugular, Shay." the other paramedic, Shay looked at what Dawson had seen and tried to keep the little girl calm for she knew that Madeline was scared and in a lot of pain. 

"It's all right, sweetie." Dawson took her stethoscope to listen to the little girl’s chest and she heard muffled sounds coming from her heart. She told Shay,

"Muffled heart sounds. It's Beck's Triad." Shay then grabbed Madeline from the car and told her in a calm and soothing voice, 

"Come on, sweetie. Gentle. Easy. Come on." Dawson followed after Shay had gotten Madeline out of the car. Casey and his men then began the clean up of the accident while Squad 3 packed up and left.

* * *

As soon as Truck 81, Squad 3 and Engine 51 got back from the accident scene and everyone got out of their turnout gear, Otis walked up to Casey near Truck 81. He told him,

"Say, Lieutenant, now that we have a new candidate, I don't have to be Otis anymore." Casey glanced at Otis like he had three heads but still answered the man,

"You're still Otis." Otis however, was not letting up and he continued to ask that Mills take his part of the job,

“But I thought I could learn to drive the truck and we could put Peter Mills on the elevators.” As both men walked around Truck 81, Casey saw Herrmann and flagged him down.

“Herrmann, what’s this guy’s name?” Herrmann with no hesitation said,

“Otis.” Casey shook his head and asked again,

“No, his real name.” Herrmann didn’t understand why Casey was doing this but didn’t want to say no to his Lieutenant so he questioned, 

“Bart?” Then began to walk away from his lieutenant and Otis. Otis yelled his real name after Herrmann who had already walked away, 

“Brian. Brian Zvonecek. He knew.” Casey placed his hand on Otis’ shoulder as he told him,

“You’re staying on the elevators, which makes you Otis. Sorry.” As Casey walked away from Otis, he was stopped by Severide. 

“Hey.” Severide dropped from the Squad 3 rig shirtless and Casey had to make sure he never wandered past Severide’s eyes with his own as much as he would love too. Severide continued,

“Guy in the water?” Casey knew this would happen and glanced at Mouch. Severide slandered the poor man,

“How about a guy with his head up his ass?” Casey looked back at Severide and told him a nice way to say ‘Fuck off’ without actually saying it,

“You handle your firefighters. I’ll handle mine.” Severide though, didn’t stop. Instead he continued to start a fight because that’s all he wanted at that moment.

“That’s a good theory, Casey. How about giving it a try?” Casey was tired of all the fighting but mostly he was tired of everything. So he snapped back as he walked closer to the man,

“Know what? I’m getting real tired of your bull, Severide.” This was what Severide wanted; a fight. So he argued getting ready for Casey or himself to throw the first punch,

“I don’t give a damn what you’re tired of.” Suddenly, both men were stopped from going to blows by Boden. 

“Hey.” Boden hit the punching bag a few times before he continued, 

“I thought you all should know I am gonna fight that dick Olmstead who slept with my wife in Saturday’s Drop-A-Cop.” then hit the bag a few more times before he walked closer to his officers, Casey and Severide, 

“Or we could all just throw the gloves on right now, beat the hell out of each other. Maybe when the Mayor comes on Saturday, that’s what he sees. Truck versus Squad-- Old as the CFD so deal with it. We all lost Darden a month ago Friday. And that ain’t changing. So maybe we should.” After Boden’s speech, Casey glanced at Severide before he walked away and Severide watched him go even though he wanted to say something to Casey. Deep down Severide felt horrible for saying such things to Casey, the man he was still in love with.

* * *

A few hours later, Casey had given a call to Andy’s wife and was waiting for her to arrive. As soon as she had, Casey walked up to her car and gave her Darden’s box of his things. When Darden’s wife rolled down her window, Casey said,

“Hey, Heather.” Heather smiled as she answered Casey and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Then Casey saw the Darden’s kids in the back and greeted them. Heather told Casey,

“Thanks for meeting me out here.” then glanced over at the firehouse, “I just can’t go in there.” Casey understood what she was saying. He knew she was hurting from the loss of her husband he also understood loss for he has had his fair share but he had to ask,

“How are you?” Heather looked up at him as she tried to think of a way to answer his question but she felt that she was going to start crying again. She instead told him,

“I don’t-- what do you want me to say?” then saw what Casey was holding in his arms. She continued,

“So that’s it, huh?” Casey nodded as he too looked at the box. Heather then said bitterly, “14 years at this station, and it all fits into a box.” Casey knew she would also be angry so he tried to make her feel better even a little bit,

“Heather, there’s not a single place I look and don’t see him. Bells go off, and I think, ‘The truck can’t leave yet. Andy’s not on it.’” He managed a small smile from Heather before she thanked him and told Casey to put the box in the back. She unlocked the car so Casey could put the box in the box.

* * *

While Casey was talking to Heather, Severide watched from inside the firehouse, wanting to go out there and talk to not only Heather but also Casey. He wanted to apologize to Casey for how he was treating him and to Heather for not protecting her husband like he promised. There were so many things he wanted to say but instead didn’t and walked away from watching that scene.

As Severide walked away from watching Casey talking to Heather, he passed by one of the doors leading to the conference room. Shay, who happened to be in that room walked out and up to Severide. 

“Kelly.” Kelly turned toward the voice but didn’t stop walking and Shay grabbed his arm and pulled him around the corner,

“Come here.” As soon as they were alone, Shay glanced at Kelly’s face trying to gauge what the man was feeling before she gave up. She handed Kelly a little blue vile and Kelly thanked her before they both went their separate ways. Kelly took the vile and went straight to his locker to grab his black bag. He then went to the bathroom and into one of the stalls. He locked the door and closed the toilet seat before he sat down and tried to open the black bag. Kelly’s hand started to feel numb so he massaged his shoulder a little before going back to getting the bag opened. He popped the lid of the blue vile then grabbed a needle from his black bag. He stuck the needle into the vile before into himself. As the medicine flowed through his veins, Kelly sat back on the toilet seat and let the numbness go away. 

Kelly left the bathroom stall and saw Casey washing his hands at one of the sinks. He walked straight up to another of the sinks and washed his own. Kelly watched Casey glance at him before he looked at him too. Casey then glanced again at him before Kelly shut off the water and walked away, grabbing his little black bag as he went. Casey wanted to say something but every time he had something, he chickened out and he let the man walk away.

* * *

Casey went back to his locker and grabbed all his stuff before leaving the firehouse after a long 24 hour shift. He was walking toward his truck when he spotted Dawson angrily shutting her door. He walked up to her just to see if she was ok, nothing more.

“You okay, Dawson?” she answered him,

“Uh, of course, yeah, yeah. It’s, uh… some days, you know.” Casey knew exactly what she was saying. With everything happening between him and Kelly, of course Casey knew. Dawson continued talking but Casey zoned out and then said his goodbyes before getting to his truck. 

Casey got home, parked his truck then went straight to his bed and slept a few sleepless hours due to his nightmares about his past and just recently Darden’s death. He began to dream about Andy. It was one of his recurring nightmares that he had since Andy’s death.

* * *

_Andy was laughing back in the truck on their way to the house fire. Oddly, it was just him and Andy. No one else. No Herrmann, Otis or even Squad 3. His voice sounded so far away like he was down the street instead right in front of the man. They get there and the fire is an enraging inferno. He watched as Andy rushed inside the building not caring that the house is already long gone. Casey yelled for Andy to stop but it’s like he doesn’t make a sound. He yelled frantically to get Andy’s attention but nothing was working. Casey then started to panic and tried to run in after him but his gear weighs like it’s a thousand pounds. Moments later, he heard the most God awful scream coming from the house. Andy then rushed out of the house on fire screaming. He stopped and turned to look at Casey, he yelled as he pointed at him,_

_“You did this! You did this to me! It’s your fault, I’m dead!” More voices join Andy’s and Casey can see who they are. Severide, Herrmann, Boden and many others grab him by the arms, struggling and yelling for help. They drag him over to the house fire then inside where a huge fireball was waiting. The fireball launched itself at Casey and burned him alive. Casey screamed as the flames licked at his gear and burned through._

* * *

He woke with a start a few hours later, covered in sweat and his heart racing. Andy’s scream still echoed in his head as well as his own. He always woke up before his own death but that still didn’t make the dream any easier to have every other night. It really sucked when he had it at the firehouse and everyone could hear his screams. After that had happened more than once while on shift, Casey tried to find things to do to stay awake while everyone else slept. He got up and took a shower before going to his kitchen. Casey opened his small fridge and grabbed his leftover pizza from a few nights ago. Just as he took his first bite, someone knocked on his door. Casey walked over to his door, pizza still in his hand then opened it. A woman was on the other side and Casey was very shocked at seeing her. He questioned,

“Hallie?” Hallie smiled brightly as did Casey. He then grabbed her in for a hug as he asked her, “When did you get back?” She pulled back and Casey let her into his house while she answered him,

“I just got back today.” then they moved onto the kitchen before sitting down on one of the chairs surrounding the table. Hallie wasted no time in questioning,

“So… how are you doing, Matt? I haven’t seen you since the academy. Did you ask Kelly to be your boyfriend, yet?” Matt sat down on her left then told her everything. Hallie listened intently as Matt told his tale. At some point Hallie had to wipe away some stray tears that had fallen down her face. After Matt had finished talking, Hallie grabbed his hand and held it as she said,

“I’m so sorry, Matt. I didn’t know.” Matt squeezed her hand and told her that it was okay because she was out of the country. Hallie sighed and Matt spoke,

“Sometimes, I think Kelly would be happier if I was the one who died instead of Andy.” He turned away from Hallie and looked out the window as he said that. Hallie immediately got Matt to look at her before she told him firmly,

“That is not true. He would be just as devastated as he is right now. Don’t you dare think like that, Matt.” Matt shook his head before he said while smiling sadly,

“No. I don’t think he would. I don’t think anyone would miss me. Especially Kelly. He would be much happier because he would have his best friend back.” Hallie tried to get him to see reason but before she could say so, Matt continued in a dull voice,

“You know, I didn’t just lose one friend. I lost them all. I lost Kelly. I lost Andy and I lost Shay. I have no one left who would care about me. So I think it would be best if I had died that day instead of Andy. I know Kelly would be happy. Hell, maybe everyone would be happier if I had died. I know I would be.” Hallie had tears running down her face as she listened to how broken Matt sounded. How sad he really felt. She stood up from her chair causing Matt to look at her then pulled him into a hug. She told him softly,

“I would miss you. I am your friend so you haven’t lost everyone. I am still here. I will stay by your side for the rest of your days. I’m not going anywhere.” Matt held Hallie before tears flowed down his own face and he cried as Hallie held him. 

When he stopped crying, Matt tried to apologize for even crying but Hallie told him that it was okay and that sometimes you just need a good cry every now and then. She smiled after saying that. Matt then smiled too because when Hallie smiled everyone followed suit. Matt then asked her,

“How’s everything going in South America? Did you meet anybody?” Hallie laughed at Matt’s clumsy way of making small talk and told him about the last 7 years of work that she had been doing in South America. She also told him that she met someone and that he was nice and that they wanted the same things. Matt was glad that Hallie was happy and making a new life for herself.

* * *

A few days later everyone was back on shift, Casey was in the kitchen making lunch when he overheard Mills ask Otis, 

“How long were you the candidate here?” Otis answered the new candidate,

“Not long, four years.” Mills sat down slowly after he heard Otis. Meanwhile, Cruz came walking into the mess hall a little mad about missing the boxing fight. He stated,

“I can’t believe we’re gonna miss the fights tonight.” Boden had walked in at the same time as Cruz waiting for the food to be done when he had heard Cruz. He told him,

“Well, that’s just as well, ‘cause I just found out he fought Golden Gloves.” Cruz tried to get the chief to understand and make his chief feel like fighting,

“Aw that was 20 years ago, Chief. We gotta tape it or something. We gotta see it.” then turned around and was just about to grab a cookie out of the jar when he saw Casey in the kitchen for the first time since he entered the mess hall. 

“What’s the Lieutenant doing?” Cruz questioned Herrmann quietly, almost afraid that Casey would get mad and snap at him. Herrmann answered the man,

“He said he wanted to cook the Saturday corned beef.” Cruz then watched as Casey lifted his corned beef out of the oven and onto the counter. Herrmann mesmerized by the smell and the sight before him said,

“Ah, look at that.” Mouch could smell the food from where he sat on the couch reading a newspaper and he remembered back when Casey used to cook as a candidate himself and even after he no longer was a candidate. He told everyone,

“He made the best chicken parmigiana I ever put in my mouth.” Cruz asked as he stuff a cookie into his mouth,

“What do you got there, Casey?” Casey answered as he put on the finishing touches to the food,

“Don’t you worry about it. Call everyone to chow.”

* * *

One of Severide’s men walked out of the mess hall and told the rest of Squad 3, 

“Hey, Casey’s in there cooking.” Another man questioned because hearing Casey and kitchen in the same sentence didn’t usually mix. 

“Casey? Really, Capp?” Capp nodded then went back inside with the rest of Squad 3 in tow.

* * *

When Severide and his men entered, they noticed the smell and saw everyone else was already eating. 

“Have at it.” Casey said as he moved a new plate of corned beef, potatoes and carrots in front of Severide and his men then grabbed the old plate to get it out of the way. Severide looked down at the food in front of him then back up at Casey and met his eyes. Again it was like lightning struck them but Severide looked away first. Everyone stopped eating and watched what Squad 3 was going to do. Severide grabbed an orange then walked away knowing that as much as he would love to eat Casey’s cooking again, he just couldn’t. His pride and anger got the best of him again.

* * *

Casey followed after Severide after he walked out with nothing but an orange. He found him sitting on the Squad truck smoking a cigar. 

“What the hell’s going on? You okay?” Casey questioned Severide, then went on talking, ‘Cause if you’re not, maybe you need to-” but he was interrupted by Severide, who snapped his own question back at Casey.

“You think I need your help?” Casey sighed deeply before he tirely told his former best friend, who would have been something more had they had the chance,

“I’m trying here, Severide.” but Severide didn’t care. He just nodded and told him,

“Keep on.” The fight between them clearly weighting Casey down but he was too stubborn to admit defeat but then again neither did Severide. Both men were too stubborn for their own good. Casey looked away and sighed again before he finally broke the silence that had fallen on them both. 

“I cleaned out Darden’s locker.” but when Severide didn’t give a rise, Casey went with something that both knew was the wrong thing to say but like Severide Casey was just as prideful. 

“You should have vented the back.” Now that gave a rise out of Severide that Casey wanted because at least he was talking. Even if it was just to fight back. Severide reminded Casey what his job was in the most uncaring way possible. 

“We’re called Rescue Squad, Casey. We don’t vent. You shouldn’t have put Andy through the window. I don’t have to explain myself to you. I sleep like a baby.” Then paused for a few seconds before he continued, 

“You?” Casey just looked away again before he walked away remembering the same dream he had again the night before he had shift. Severide watched Casey walk away knowing once again that he hurt the man he loved.

* * *

It was a few hours later, Casey was walking into the mess hall to get some more coffee to try and stay awake when he caught the tail end of a conversation between Otis and Herrmann,

“I was prayed upon by low-interest loan vultures.” Casey walked up to the coffee maker all the while asking,

“What time is the Mayor coming?” Herrmann answered his lieutenant while playing cards with Otis,

“I heard 9:00.” Otis piggy-backed the conversation with his own input on the mayor himself not about the time when the man himself was to come. 

“I heard he stops to take a piss at every house in the city, as a sign of respect.” Mouch put his own two cents in as well,

“Stopped here in June.” Herrmann then happened to notice the time and saw that it was getting close to the fight between Boden and the man who slept with his second wife. He told Casey,

“Hey, Boden’s about to fight in ten minutes.” Casey took a swig of his coffee then thought about whether he should take his men to see the fight or not. He ultimately decided,

“Screw it. Let’s take a ride.” All of Casey’s men were happy to leave the firehouse for something that wasn’t a call. They took their gear as a just in case there happened to be a call while they were out.

* * *

They arrived at the fight arena where Boden was boxing the guy who slept with his second wife just as it began. They heard over the speakers as Otis and Herrmann climbed the aerial to see the fight,

_“Fighting in the red corner, representing the Chicago Fire Department, Chief Boden.”_ Otis grabbed his radio and began to tell everyone over the radio what was happening with Boden’s fight. 

“Hello, sports fans. This is Brian Zvonecek, coming to you live from the Annual Battle of the Badges.”

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the firehouse Squad 3 sat around listening into the fight that Boden was in that Otis was reporting live from.

_“Firefighters versus The Police.”_ Severide walked up to Capp and Hadley when he heard the radio. He asked while Otis continued to report what was happening,

“What’s that?” Capp answered his lieutenant’s question that it was Otis telling them what was happening with Boden’s fight. Severide walked in and turned up the radio more so they could all listen. Otis continued,

_Looks like the quivering cop slob that he is.”_

* * *

At the arena, Cruz, Vargas and Mills sat around on top of Truck 81 listening to Otis on the radio as well while Casey sat down next to Mouch.

“Mouch. I can’t keep making excuses for ya.” Casey said after a few seconds of listening to Otis’ report on the fight. Otis continued,

_“There goes the bell, and here we go.”_ Mouch nodded his understanding and both the lieutenant and himself went back to listening to Otis.

_“Takes two quick jabs to the nose. Oh, he falls back into the ropes.”_ Everyone on Truck 81 and at the firehouse continued to listen in on Otis’ podcast.

_“One, two, three to the chin. Boden’s in trouble already, folks. Wait. Here it comes. Three straight lefts…”_ Just then a call came over the radio,

**Accident. Building fire. 241 Franklin Street. Ambulance 61, Engine 51. Truck 81, Squad 3.**

Casey and his men got up and began to get ready when they heard Truck 81 was called to the scene of this fire. Vargas told everyone,

“That’s just down a block.” Casey told dispatch that they were responding and then drove off down the block to the building fire.

Over the radio Truck 81 heard everyone else responding to the call as they had made it first to the scene. Just as they got to the scene, a car that was nearby exploded. Herrmann looked up at the building and didn’t like the way it looked. He even voiced his concerns just as the truck stopped,

“Wow. This is bad, bad, bad.” then got out of the truck followed by everyone else in Truck 81. As soon as Casey climbed out of the truck, he immediately ordered his men while he went and grabbed his axe and his oxygen tank,

“Let’s go, let’s go! Otis, get to the elevator and tell us what we’re looking at. Mills, help Cruz vent the roof. Herrmann, you and me to the top floor and work our way down.” Herrmann nodded his lieutenant’s order as Casey continued, “Let’s move.” Then he and Casey went in through the front. As soon as they got their masks on, they began to move throughout the floor to get to the top. People were trying to make their way out of the building when Casey helped them move toward the exit. He said over the radio,

“Two coming out.” and continued to move about the floor. He walked toward the steps leading to the upper floors and ordered Herrmann,

“Let’s go, Herrmann. Second floor, clear the doors.” Herrmann and Casey made it to the second floor and had to stay low as smoke was hanging just barely above the doors and their heads. They made it to the first door and hit it open with the axe calling out as they did,

“Fire Department! Anyone here?” As Casey and Herrmann continued to search the second floor for any victims, they heard Vargas over the radio,

_“We got an open door on five!”_ then heard Otis, 

_“Otis and Vargas heading up to five. Elevator obstruction.”_ Casey and Herrmann were still opening doors making sure everyone was getting out safely. They opened up another door and Casey yelled,

“Fire Department! Anyone here? Call out!” they heard a child scream so they immediately moved into the apartment to find this young kid or kids. Herrmann and Casey heard the kid coughing and yelling in one of the bedrooms. Casey and Herrmann made a beeline for the bedroom that they heard the kid. With zero visibility, Casey searched, at first, on top of the bed before he heard a child yell,

“We’re under here!” then moved to search under the bed to find two kids, a girl and a boy hiding under it. He held out his hand and told them calmly,

“It’s gonna be all right. We’ll get you out. Come on.” then the little boy climbed out from under the bed. As the girl climbed out, Casey warned her to watch her head as he took off his mask and gave it to the little girl. Herrmann did the same as Casey but with the little boy. Both men quickly yet carefully went back the way they came and back outside. Casey then set the girl and her brother down and sent them over to Mouch as they waited for the paramedics to arrive. Casey ordered his men, 

“Truck 81, we need two more alarms. We’re going back in.” Then to Herrmann, “Let’s go.” as they made their back inside the building. As Casey and Hermann made their way back inside, they heard Cruz over the radio,

_“Roof is open.”_ Herrmann and Casey stopped from going any further when the fire from one of the apartments blasted outwards nearly hitting Casey in the face. Herrmann yelled over the raging inferno, 

“It’s too hot! We gotta go now!” Casey agreed with him and demanded over the radio,

“Everyone out, out! Let ‘em get hoses on it!” then began to make their way back down to the first floor. Just then they hear Boden over the radio,

_“Casey, up. Go up to the roof. Casey, do you copy?”_ Casey and Herrman were rounding the corner when they saw Otis and Vargas coming down from the fifth floor. He ordered them,

“Up, up, we can’t go down. Move.” just then the fire raged burning everything in its path from the third floor up onto the fourth and Casey continued to order them,

“Go, move, go.” All of a sudden a part of the roof above, in front of Casey, Herrmann, Otis and Vargas fell and crashed through the floor causing Casey and Herrmann to go with it all the way to the bottom, the basement.

* * *

Meanwhile, Squad 3 finally arrived on scene. Severide climbed out of the truck before it was even stopped and heard Boden say over the radio,

“Rescue Squad on scene.” Severide walked over to Boden to get any information on what’s going on. Boden explained,

“We have at least two not moving in the basement,” Severide nodded as he finished getting his gear on. Bonden then said who was in the basement, 

“Casey and Herrmann.” and Severide stared at Boden when he heard the names. In his head, Severide thought,

_(No not again. Not like this. Please don’t let today be the last time I get to talk to Matt. Please not him. I need to tell him how sorry I am. How much of a jackass I was. I haven’t even told him how I feel. How I love him. Please let him be ok.)_ He told Boden,

“We’ll get ‘em.” then ordered his men to move while Boden announced over the radio that Squad 3 was on their way in and to hold engines until everyone was clear. As soon as Severide entered the building, he heard the PASS alarm beeping and made their way to a very huge hole in the ground. 

Severide walked around the hole thinking of the best way to get to Casey and Herrmann when he heard above him,

“Up here! Up here!” Severide glanced up and saw Otis and Vargas still on the fourth floor where the hole started from. He told them to go up then went back to work on the best approach to get to the man he loved and Herrmann. He announced over the radio,

“This is Severide, I need a ladder on the west side window, fifth floor.” then looked down from where he stood and saw Casey and Herrmann. He told his men,

“I see Casey and Herrmann. Get me ropes. I’m going down.” all the while Severide was chanting in his head,

_(Please be okay. Please be okay.)_ over and over. He moved over by his men and they began to set him up to go down on a pulley system. Severide demanded,

“Come on, let's go, let’s go.” then his men began to lower him down to the basement. As soon as he touched the ground he noticed Herrmann beginning to move so he walked over to him and helped him up. 

“You okay, Herrmann?” he questioned as soon as Herrmann was standing on his own two feet. Herrmann nodded while he held his shoulder then both men moved over to Casey who was still not moving. They noticed immediately that he was on his stomach so they turned him over. As soon as they had, Herrmann saw that his mask was broken and so did Severide. Casey was gasping for air so they removed his mask and Severide took his off and placed it on Casey. He told him,

“Take a breath, Case.” a name he hadn’t said in a month since Andy’s death. It felt good to say that again. It was a name Severide often used to address Casey to show their friendship and relationship as really good but close friends while Herrmann told him, 

“Breathe, kid.” because Casey was like a son to him. Casey used to call him Sev before Andy died but now neither of them call each other by their pet names. Then Severide ordered his men,

“Hey, get me another line down here!” as Severide secured his mask on Casey. His men threw another rope down and they began to tie Casey so they could lift him out of there. Severide yelled up to his men,

“Hey, get him up!” then watched with a heavy heart as his men lifted Casey up and out of the building. Now how was Herrmann and himself supposed to get out of the basement? He saw a table that had yet to be burned with a bunch of chairs piled on it. He removed the pile of chairs and lifted one side of the table and Herrmann helped even with one arm. They moved the table as close as they could so they would be able to reach the top if one of them stepped on the other’s shoulders. Severide helped Herrmann up to the top because he had noticed how Herrmann favored his left arm. 

As soon as Herrmann was on the first floor again, he reached his good arm down to help Severide get up onto the floor above. When Severide jumped up to grab Herrmann’s arm, the table below crashed to the floor, Severide felt pain shoot up his arm that was hanging from Herrmann’s and Herrmann began to slip toward the edge. All of a sudden, Herrmann heard from behind him,

“I got you, Herrmann!” then felt the weight and security of Mouch as both he and Herrmann pulled together to get Severide up on the first floor. Suddenly, more firefighters arrived to help as well and with the combined strength, they managed to get Severide over the edge and to safety. Then when Severide was safe, Herrmann and the rest of Squad 3 and Truck 81 got out of the building. As soon as Severide was ok, he practically ran toward the front doors to get to where Dawson, Shay and Casey were.

* * *

Casey tried very weakly to tell Dawson and Shay, 

“I’m fine.” as soon as they began to check him over, Casey tried to get up and then had to gently but firmly lay him back down. Dawson then took out her stethoscope while Shay opened his turnout gear and began to cut his shirt open. He said again that he was fine and Shay smiled and agreed with him. 

“You’re gonna be all right.” Dawson and Shay shared a look and Dawson shook her head while listening to Casey’s lungs. She then told Casey,

“That’s right, Casey, you’re fine, okay?” then to Shay, “Tension Pneumothorax.” as she tapped his chest hard to check for stiffness. Dawson then stopped and glanced over at Otis, Vargas, and Cruz then back at Shay. Shay calmly encouraged her,

“Don’t think. Just do it.” She then grabbed a needle and placed it above Casey’s left pectoral before she plunged the needle into his chest. As soon as she did that, Dawson calmly yet firmly told him while they packed the sight of the needle,

“All right, stay with me, Matt. Stay with me.” Dawson said to Shay and everyone else around them, 

“He’s probably got other internal damage. Help me get him inside.” As they were lifting Casey onto the 61, Severide and Herrmann finally got out of the building. Severide called into his radio,

“Clear! Squad 3, Truck 81 are clear.” Boden then gave the order to open up the hoses and get water onto the burning building. However, Severide was too late. He learned that 61 had left and that Casey was on his way to Lakeshore. He nodded his understanding then walked away. As soon as he was alone behind Squad 3’s truck, he slid slowly to the ground, rubbing his hands across his face as his breath hitched. He thought,

_(Please! Please be okay! I can’t lose you too. Matt, please…)_ then a single tear fell from his face. If anyone saw him then would think it was just sweat or water dripping from his face and not tears.

It took them until morning to put out that fire. As soon as Severide could, he was heading straight to the hospital to see how Casey was doing. Severide first went to the kitchen to at least eat something so that when and if he got to see Casey, he could at least tell him that he ate. He saw Casey’s corned beef was still there so he grabbed a chunk, ate it and missed Casey’s home cooking.

* * *

Severide arrived at the hospital right after Dawson and had heard her ask Cruz, who was standing for he couldn’t sit down until he heard Casey was going to be ok, 

“Anything?” he answered her,

“He’s in surgery, trying to find the bleed. They don’t know.” Severide went to the back of the waiting area since he figured that he wasn’t too welcome. Shay walked over by him then sat him down for she could see he wanted to talk but didn’t know where to begin.

“It’s okay. Matt’s going to be okay. He’s a fighter.” Shay told him and Severide struggled to breathe and Shay held his hand. Silent tears fell from his face and Severide hid his face by dropping it to look at the ground. Shay rubbed his hand in circles as she watched for the doctor. Boden then arrived and he asked if there was any change. 

“He’s still in surgery.” Otis told Boden and Severide couldn’t take anymore waiting for it felt like the walls were slowly closing in on him so he went out to get some air, Shay followed. He walked around a corner to a place where no one could see him then he dropped to a crouch and cried. Shay found him like that, crying and she crouched down next to him. She told him,

“He’s going to be okay, Kelly. You know Matt more than any of us. He’s a fighter.” but Kelly shook his head in disagreement. Shay sighed but waited for him to talk. Kelly after a few minutes began to talk. It just flowed out of him everything that was weighing him down this last month,

“We fought. We fight all the time since Andy but... I told him that I slept like a baby when I know he doesn’t. I know he has nightmares but I didn’t care and told him anyways. I said a lot of mean and horrible things over this last month alone. I hurt him countless times after Andy. I know he didn’t put Andy through that window. Andy put himself through. I knew this and yet I kept… I kept telling him it was his fault that Andy died. I...I know I don’t deserve him but I love him. I love him, Shay. And I don’t know what to do… I can’t lose him, Shay. I just can’t…” he then cried again this time into Shay’s shoulder. Shay told him,

“It’s okay, Kelly. Hey, shh. Shh. It’s okay. Matt will pull through just you watch. He will, I promise.” They stayed like that for a while until Kelly settled down enough to go back inside. When they got back inside, Hermann was there and he had on a cast all the way up his left arm to his shoulder.

* * *

It was hours later, when they heard that Matt was going to be okay. Everyone in the waiting area breathed a breath of relief, thanking whatever God that they believed in. The doctors told them that only one person could see him today for it was getting late and he needed lots of rest. Kelly was the one who stood up so fast and said that it should be him before anyone else could. Shay hugged Kelly one last time before whispering to him,

“Tell him. Tell him how you feel or I will beat your ass.” then gave him a stern look before she walked away and the doctor led him away. Boden ordered everyone to get on home and that he would stay here to wait for Kelly.

* * *

The doctor came up to Boden and asked him if he could get his man out of Matt Casey’s room for he had been in there long enough and it was time to leave him to rest. Boden nodded and followed the doctor to the room. As soon as he got there, the doctor left him and Boden was to walk in when he heard Kelly and Matt talking.

“I’m in love with you, Matt. I know telling you this won’t change the fact that I treated you horribly. I know this but I needed to tell you this before it was too late. And I nearly was too late. I almost lost you, last night. I was so scared that I might lose you and had never confessed. I'm so sorry, Matt for everything. I want to be with you.” Boden couldn’t hear Matt’s reply but he did see his lieutenant’s holding hands and he felt proud of them both. He gave them a few more minutes of alone time before he knocked on the door. Boden then heard Kelly,

“I’ll wait for however long and show you just how much I mean everything I told you. I promise I will never hurt you again.” It was after Kelly said that, that Boden decided to knock on the door then. Kelly turned around and Boden explained,

“Visiting hours are up. Time to go, Kelly. I’ll give you a ride back to the firehouse so you can get your stuff.” then walked out of the room. Kelly looked back at Matt before he leaned toward him and gave him a kiss on the forehead telling him,

“I’ll be back tomorrow to check on you. I love you, Matt.” then walked out of Matt’s room.


	3. Chapter 2 Mon Amour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I’m so sorry this took such a long time to update. 
> 
> I would like to thank all of you for liking my story and commenting and leaving me kudos. 
> 
> Here’s the next chapter! Hope you’ll like this one as much as the last one! ;)
> 
> This chapter will contain flashbacks. Tell me if you want more flashbacks or not.

It’s been a week since the Franklin Street fire and since Matt got hurt. Kelly visited him in the hospital every chance he could when he wasn’t on shift and called him when he was. He was trying to turn over a new leaf; to prove to Matt that he loved him and was there for him. 

About an hour before his shift, Kelly went to one of his favorite coffee shops in Chicago. When he got there, he ordered his coffee just the way he liked. As soon as the barista gave him his coffee, Kelly was about to walk out when he heard a familiar voice.

“Okay, guys. Let’s get you whatever you want, okay?” Then saw Heather with her two kids. He walked up to her and when her sons saw him, they practically jumped into his arms hugging him. He greeted her and the kids,

“Hey, Heather. Hey, guys.” Heather smiled awkwardly and tried to get her kids away from Kelly without being too obvious. She was guiding her kids up the steps when Kelly grabbed her arm gently to stop her. He asked her, really wanting to know,

“Hey. How are you doing?” She watched her sons walk up to the counter waiting and she answered Kelly,

“I’m good, Kelly.” but then started to walk further up the steps as she continued, “I gotta go in.” Kelly told her,

“Uh, hey… Wait, I’ve… been meaning to come by and with Matt, how he was in the hospi--” but Heather interrupted him, 

“Just save it. Really.” Kelly gasped at the sudden change in Heather’s demere and how she now sounded angry at him. He tried to explain,

“Come on. Andy and I were--” but once again, Heather interrupted him getting angry,

“Stop right there. Andy never even would have been a firefighter if it weren’t for you.” Then settled down a bit as she continued, “And as for Matt, I’m sorry he’s in the hospital. Maybe the kids and I will pay him a visit.” Kelly wanted to explain that Matt was now out of the hospital and at home recovering but Heather walked away leaving him standing there all alone. He walked out of the coffee shop and went to work.

* * *

The moment Kelly got to work, and had started to get changed out, a call came in, to a house fire. Squad 3, Truck 81 and Ambulance 61 drove out the firehouse blaring their sirens. A few minutes later, 51 arrived on the scene and they could tell that the fire wasn’t very big but they knew it could change very quickly. 

Kelly was irritable. He hadn’t seen Matt since he brought him home and that was two days ago. He knew he shouldn’t feel this way but with his bad encounter with Heather, his shoulder and the fact he hadn’t seen Matt. Everything was piling up, just waiting for it to explode. 

He watched with contempt as Matt’s temporary replacement, Lieutenant Francis Highborne, climbed out of Truck 81 and walked up to talk to the lady who was madder than a hornet. He was a burly man with graying red hair and faded blue eyes. And Kelly didn’t like him at all. 

“... Look at this! You know what time it is? Oh, but you want to play Mr. Flamethrower, huh? What y’all lookin’ at? You better pray for him. You know what you in a world of trouble now.” Kelly only caught the tail end of her rant only because she was yelling up and down the street and his mood was slowly deteriorating to anger. He watched as the older lieutenant walked into the building then only to come back out a few moments later with another man on his arm. As soon as the man was safe and sound, the lady who was mad a few seconds ago lost all her anger and hugged the man, not even caring for her house. She was just glad her tenant was safe.

Kelly happened to glance up and saw that the candidate was not only relaxed but didn’t have neither of his hands on the beam. All of a sudden, anger just exploded out of Kelly,

“Hey! Candidate! One hand on the beam, candidate! I don’t care if you’re carrying a damn cow! Men die when they relax.” he wasn’t sure if it was his shoulder, not being able to see Matt or just the fact that his best friend died from doing something just as stupid. The other lieutenant, Highborne walked over to Kelly, and he didn’t want to hear what this guy had to say. 

“Hey, is he your candidate?” Francis questioned Kelly once he was in ear shot. When Kelly didn’t really answer him, he continued anyway, “Then you have no right to say another word. He is my responsibility while Lieutenant Casey is recovering from his injuries that he shouldn’t have gotten in the first place. He shouldn’t even be a lieutenant if he couldn’t even save himself. Not to mention if he hadn’t gotten hurt, I wouldn’t be here. So get in your rig and get out of my sight. For you are not needed.” Kelly was taken aback by how much hostility was coming from the man in front of him. In his mood, he didn’t care that the man was older or wiser or had more experience than him. 

“Oh yeah? Then you teach him so that he knows exactly what to do! Casey would’ve taught him better! Casey would’ve gotten hurt if the fire wasn’t already out of control! He had to save lives! Casey isn’t the type of man to leave people who could be saved to save himself! He would rather die trying to save someone else than leave them behind to save himself! He only fell and got hurt because the floor was already weak! Would you have known that?! No! And on that note, where do you get off? You are not the chief, Boden is! He’s the only one who can order me! So why don’t you back off, get in your rig and get out of my sight, huh?” Kelly then walked away knowing full well that he could be in big trouble from Boden if this guy decided to tell on him but at the moment, he didn’t care. He walked over to Dawson and Shay; Dawson was talking about Kelly’s little outburst, 

“Wow, wonder what pissed him off.” Shay nodded in agreement even though she knew the truth behind some of Kelly’s little outburst. Kelly told Dawson with only his eyes that he wanted to talk with Shay. Dawson rolled her eyes but moved away so they could talk among themselves.

“Hey.” Kelly said once Dawson left them alone. Shay glanced over at Highborne with slight amusement in her eyes. She said to Kelly, 

“That was quite the scene you made, huh?” Kelly had the decency to at least smile as he answered her question,

“Not my finest moment but he was saying that Matt is a bad leader. No one bad mouth’s Matt and gets away with it. Not if I can help it.” Shay grinned happily at hearing that Kelly was willing to defend someone who couldn’t defend themselves, even Matt. She told him,

“No one bad mouths your boy. I’m proud of you.” She then smiled and tapped his good shoulder. Kelly chuckled while blushing deep red. After a few minutes, Kelly got to the real reason he was there.

“I need something.” Shay's good mood was gone the moment Kelly told her that and she sighed deeply. She reached into her medical bag and grabbed discreetly a small bottle and handed it over to Kelly. Shay pulled back as she told him sternly,

“This is the last one.” Kelly nodded in agreement and tried to grab the bottle from her but she still held it tightly in her fist. She continued to emphasize her point,

“I mean it, Kelly.” He again nodded in understanding and Shay handed it to him. Kelly knew she wasn’t too happy but he needed it. He then walked away back to his rig to help pack up so they could leave.

* * *

They got back to the firehouse and finished changing out after that little fire. Kelly was sitting on a bench in the locker room when Highborne walked in. Kelly stood up and followed him knowing full well he should apologize since they are going to be working together until Matt comes back. He said,

“Lieutenant Highborne. I think we got off on the wrong foot here. I wasn’t in a good mood to begin with this morning. So I just want you to know that I’m sorry for earlier. I hope we can get along better until Lieutenant Casey is back.” Kelly then outstretched his hand hoping for a nod or a handshake to signal that he was willing to try. Highborne however, looked him up and down then walked away but not before whispering,

“I heard a very interesting rumor about Lieutenant Casey. The son of a killer is a killer himself. How many people do you think he killed?” Then he laughed and brushed against him as he passed. Kelly nearly tackled the man and punched him as he watched him walk away. Kelly left the room before he took out his anger on someone else who didn’t deserve it. As soon as Kelly walked out of the locker room, Boden stopped him.

“Kelly. My office.” Kelly glanced around and saw Highborne smiling smugly and Kelly’s already fowl mood plumited once again. He took maybe two steps toward Highborne to punch that smug smile right off his face when his name was called again. 

“Kelly.” Then stopped and followed Boden to his office, taking slight notice of the woman sitting at the assistant desk. Once inside, Kelly stood at attention when he got to the desk, waiting on Boden. Boden told him to sit and he did. 

“Lieutenant Highborne wants me to file a complaint against you. I just thought you should know.” Hearing Highborne and complaint in the same sentence, caused his already darkening mood to nearly hit his boiling point. Kelly was just about to protest almost violently when Boden beat him to it.

“I’m not going to file anything for I know the whole story. So calm down. Did you really say to him to ‘get back in your rig and back off and get out of my sight’?” Kelly sighed and rubbed his hand across his face trying to calm down before he answered Boden.

“Yes, but only because he was saying bad things about Casey! He said that it was his fault that he got hurt! That it shouldn't have happened in the first place! That if Casey was a better leader, he would still be here instead of Highborne!” Kelly kept what Highborne said in the locker room a secret. For it was not his place to say and he was sure Boden already knew. It’s not like it was a secret to everyone. Boden placed a hand on Kelly’s shoulder and said to him to calm him,

“Kelly, the men heard him say those things as well. But I can’t make him leave just yet. We still need him while Matt is recovering. Try to make peace somehow with him. If you can’t, well then we’ll think of something.” Kelly calmed a little at hearing that someone else had heard Highborne bad month Matt and Boden continued,

“Oh and two more things. First, nice going in telling Highborne off. He’s a snob if I ever saw one. I’m proud of you. Second, the barbecue, this Saturday, hope to see you there. Now go on get out of my office.” Kelly smiled when he heard the chief say he was proud. Then with this Saturday being mentioned, he remembered the barbecue. He had all but forgot about it and had wanted to keep it that way. However, no such luck. Kelly left Boden’s office feeling a little better then when he had entered.

* * *

Suddenly, an alarm went off saying, ‘ _Smoke-eater in the house.’_ and everyone but Highborne walked outside to see who was here. Kelly hoped it would be Matt. He watched as Herrmann walked up the driveway with a cane and a cast over his left arm. As soon as everyone saw that they were shocked. 

“Wait. I thought you only broke your arm? What happened?” Otis asked and Herrmann explained what happened.

“Yeah, I did but they somehow ticked a nerve in my leg too. I may not walk straight again.” someone yelled for a chair and the candidate brought one. Herrmann sat down but then immediately said,

“Ah, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second fellas, are any of my kids around here? My wife or her parents?” Otis answered him,

“No, why?” Suddenly, Herrmann started to shake his leg and then stood up. He yelled at the top of his lungs,

“I’m healed! Oh, I’m healed. It must have been living with my damn in-laws that was breaking me down!” It was only a joke meant to scare everyone a little and make them laugh. Everyone was glad Herrmann was really okay and laughed with him. Boden then took the opportunity to say,

“Glad you’re back, Herrmann. We’re a better house with you here.” Herrmann smiled and nodded at the chief. And Boden continued,

“Uh, later we’re going to have a white board session about what happened in the Darden incident last month.” Cruz then asked Boden,

“Wait a minute, what about Lieutenant Casey? Shouldn’t he be here when you do the whole white board session?” Boden glanced at all of the men including Kelly who was standing toward the back trying to appear that he wasn’t there. 

“Lieutenant Casey, seeing as he got hurt, will not have to be here for the session but he can if he feels up to it. I have talked to him about this. He needs his rest so that he can come back in another week or so.” Cruz nodded his understanding as the chief looked over at the woman beside him. He continued,

“Moving on, this is Nicki Rutkowski. She’s going to be working with us for the next month, helping out with payroll.” Boden watched everyone but Kelly and Herrmann stare at her like she was a piece of meat. He continued without stopping, “Her father is one of my oldest friends. We were in the navy together, so y’all just treat her like she’s your very own…” He happened to notice Cruz was staring at her chest and Boden made sure that Cruz knew that he saw him and said the last word he had planned on saying. “Sister.” Cruz looked away as Nicki took her chance to give her thanks and Herrmann said,

“Welcome. Don’t screw the checks. The first and 15th.” Nicki immediately replied jokingly, 

“Oh, I will.” that made everyone laugh once again. Just then the P.A. alarm sounded saying,

**Accident, multiple injuries, Squad 3, Truck 81, Engine 51, Ambulance 61.** And they were off flying out of the firehouse leaving Herrmann and Nicki behind.

* * *

On the way to the accident, Kelly began to remember the week before when he visited Matt in the hospital.

* * *

_True to his word, Kelly returned to the hospital to see how Matt was doing. As soon as he arrived at his room, Kelly saw Matt puking his guts out into a pink basin. He rushed over to him and sat down on the bed. Kelly began to rub small circles all around Matt’s back to try and comfort him through this. When Matt was finished, the nurse took the pink basin and walked away from them. Matt, with the help of Kelly, sat back against the pillows and he questioned,_

_“Why are you here, Kelly?” then waited for the nausea to go down a little before he continued, “I don’t want you here. Especially seeing me like this.” Matt turned away from him and Kelly sighed._

_“I told you last night. I’m going to prove to you that I meant what I said. I’m turning over a new leaf. I love you, Matt. That’s never going to change and I will wait for however long, if ever, for you to love me back. I’ll be okay with just being your friend if you never love me back. The point is I’m going to change for you because I love you. I’m willing to do anything for you. I just want to be by your side. How ever you wish us to be.” Matt during Kelly’s second confession turned back to glance at him and saw that he was serious._

_However, he also remembered all the times, this past month, how Kelly hurt him. He wasn’t sure if he truly believed him and that scared him because he too loved him. Matt was just too scared to tell him; afraid that Kelly would hurt him once again. Was that just too big a risk to take? Matt couldn’t even answer his own question._

_Moments later, a nurse returned with the pink basin and handed it over to Matt. Almost like his nausea had been waiting for this moment to reappear, Matt began throwing up once again into the pink basin. Kelly was by Matt’s side in an instant, rubbing small circles against his back. Matt tried unsuccessfully to push Kelly away for he didn’t want him, of all people, to see him this way. He heard Kelly whispering,_

_“It’s ok. Let it all out. I’m here and I'm not going anywhere.” Finally, Matt stopped throwing up and almost like magic, a nurse appeared and took the basin away. Kelly watched the nurse leave and thought,_

_(I should thank her. She’s always right where she’s needed at exactly the right time.) then once again helped Matt sit back and tried to get him to relax. Matt tiredly questioned again,_

_“Why are you here? I don’t want you here.” Then a little more quietly, barely a whisper, “I don’t want you to see me like this.” Kelly was shocked to say the least. He then smiled a little as he touched the top of Matt’s hand with his fingers. Matt glanced down at Kelly’s hand but didn’t move his own. Kelly then told Matt,_

_“It’s either me or one of your men. And I figured you would rather have me here then let one of your men see you like this.” Matt looked up at Kelly defeated then shook his head and sighed before he said a little mad,_

_“Ok fine, you win. You can stay.” Kelly huffed lightly then carefully grabbed Matt’s hand in his before he said a little sadly,_

_“I only thought you wouldn’t want someone to see you like this. If you want me to go, I’ll go. I didn’t mean to make you mad. I love you, Matt. I know I've been saying this a lot but it’s the truth.” then squeezed his hand before Kelly let go. He moved to get up when Matt stopped him by grabbing his hand. He sighed again,_

_“You don't have to go, okay. I’m just tired, okay?” Kelly took that as close as he was going to get from Matt. He sat back down in the chair that he had moved closer to the bed. Matt continued, “Besides, you look like shit too.” Kelly laughed at that. He knew he looked horrible. Kelly hadn’t been able to sleep at all. He was too worried about Matt to sleep. He even woke Shay up although that was an accident. Kelly was making too much noise and it woke her. After he apologized, she went back to bed about an hour later._

_“Sleep Matt. I’ll keep the nausea and nightmares away. Sleep.” then laid his hand on the bed in case Matt did have any nightmares and before they knew it they were both asleep. It was hours later when a nurse woke Kelly up quietly._

_“I’m sorry to wake you, sir, but it’s time for you to leave. Visiting hours are over.” Kelly realized as he stretched two things. One there was a blanket on him and two Matt had a death grip on his hand. He smiled over at Matt because he had moved closer to him, facing him as he had slept and was sleeping peacefully. Kelly figured Matt must have felt sick or was having a nightmare and grabbed his hand to feel safe._

_As gently as he could, Kelly slipped his hand out of Matt’s then stood up. He grabbed his jacket but then thought better of it._

_Kelly placed his jacket under Matt’s hand and as close to his face as he could so if Matt had another nightmare, he would smell Kelly’s jacket and know that Kelly was there. Even if Kelly really wasn’t there._

_He then walked out with the nurse in front of him. Kelly asked the nurse once they were out in the hallway,_

_“Did he walk up at all?” the nurse shook her head no and said,_

_“Mr. Casey has been sleeping this entire time. That’s good because he hadn’t slept at all.” At hearing that, Kelly was shocked. He asked,_

_“What do you mean he hasn’t slept?” The nurse looked back at Matt’s still sleeping form then back at Kelly before she answered him,_

_“After you left yesterday when visiting hours were up, he got sick. The doctor said it was a bad reaction to the anastasia or the meds he is on or something like that. Anyway, he hasn’t been able to sleep since. It’s good that he is finally sleeping. It means that he’s healing.” The nurse smiled before she walked away to do her duties while Kelly stared at Matt worried. Then left the hospital._

_Kelly as soon as he got home, he gave Boden a call to ask for tomorrow off so he could watch over and help out with Matt and Boden told him,_

_“I want you back next shift then.” He said he would be then hung up the call. Kelly hoped Matt would continue to sleep through the night so he didn’t get much sleep once again as he was worried. He would call the nurses station every hour until morning to check up on Matt._

* * *

Kelly came out of his memories of last week just as Squad 3, Truck 81, Ambulance 61 all arrived on the scene. It was at a construction site. Kelly got out of his Squad truck and walked over by Boden just as he was asking one of the workers,

“What’s going on?” one of the workers above them answered Boden’s question,

“The foundation’s collapsed and there’s three guys down in the basement hole.” Boden turned to all of the men and told them,

“I’m gonna need a 2 ½ up there.” The men nodded and went straight to work on getting the right hose that Boden had said. Boden then ordered Kelly and Highborne as well as a few others to get moving. Then began to climb the stairs leading up to the third story. As soon as Boden, Kelly, and Highborne arrived at the top, the guy from before pointed over to a huge hole as he said,

“It’s over here. They’re down there.” Boden nodded as he and the others listened to how this had happened,

“We were pouring concrete onto the second and third story when the whole foundation just collapsed.” Boden then walked slowly up toward the hole and looked in. When there was no apparent fire he told everyone over the radio,

“There’s no fire, but let’s drop the 2 ½ into the hole from the ladder.” Then told Cruz, who was still down by the trucks, 

“Cruz, hurry it up!” Then as soon as Boden saw the aerial he told the men again through the radio,

“Get that hose up here.” When the hose was brought up the ladder and hung over the hole Boden told them that it was good where the hose was and to charge it full of air, so the men could slide down it. As soon as the hose was charged, Kelly and the rest of Truck 81 slid down the hose. Once everyone who had climbed up to the third story and down the hose, they began to check over the victims. Otis kneeled by one man who was laying between two huge pieces of concrete. He told Highborne,

“He’s pretty banged up, but okay. I don’t think we should move him.” Highborne nodded then radioed,

“Any paramedics down there?” He heard Dawson speak through the radio,

_“Go for Dawson.”_ Highborne didn’t waste any time telling her to get up there to check on these men they were trying to rescue.

“We need you up here.” Then moved on in his search for the other two men who had fallen when the foundation collapsed. They heard Boden say over the radio,

_“Shay and Dawson are on their way down.”_ Then moments later both women were sliding down the hose. While Dawson and Shay were checking on the first guy that Otis was near, Kelly, his men and Highborne heard another man yelling,

“I’m under here! I’m under here!” they moved some debris around until they found the man who was yelling. Highborne asked him,

“Are you good to sit up?'' the man nodded, although in pain. He told Highborne and Kelly as they started to help him up,

“Peter’s farther down. I heard him talking but I couldn’t see him!” They then got him up and gave him to Severide’s men while Kelly carefully laid down then peered over the edge with his light. When he saw the man named Peter, he called down to him,

“Peter?” Peter was up against a concrete pile. He said to pretty much anyone,

“I knew this was gonna be a bad day. Told my wife this morning I had a premonition.” Highborne looked over the edge above Kelly as he had asked,

“Are you hurt?” Peter looked up at both men as he answered that question, 

“I can’t breathe. Can’t move.” When Kelly heard him, Peter sounded wheezy and in pain. He knew that he had to get him out of there. Kelly stood while Highborne told the guy to keep him calm,

“Everything is going to be fine. We’re going to get you out of there. Hang on.” Highborne and Kelly glanced at one another, even though both men hated each other they at least agreed that they needed to get the man out. Highborne yelled,

“I’m going to need three pike poles and a saw.” Some of the men went to go get the pike poles and the saw for Highborne. Kelly once again peered over the edge and called down to Peter,

“How are you doing down there, Peter?” Peter glanced up at Kelly when he answered,

“I’ve been better.” Kelly moved back by Highborne and noticed that Peter sounded worse than before. He knew he didn’t have much time so he stated more to himself then anyone else,

“I’m going in.” Kelly moved toward the crumbling and unstable hole where Peter was, with the intention of going down there. When Highborne places his arm out in front of Kelly to stop him. Kelly looked at the limb in front of him like it offended him. Highborne demanded,

“What are you, crazy? It’s unstable!” Kelly was getting real sick of this guy. He yelled at him,

“I don’t care! He may not have that much longer, Highborne! Don’t you get it?! I’m going down there now! And you can’t stop me.” then began to climb down there where Peter was. Highborne stared angrily at Kelly but then stopped him from going down further.

“You are just like him! You don’t deserve to be a lieutenant! I hope you get hurt!” he spit out venomously and unknowingly made the rest of the men hear him including Boden. Kelly continued, although angry, to make his way down as Highborne yelled at the men,

“This hole is too small to fit them both. We are going to have to make it bigger but be ready to pull back if this debris shifts.” But Kelly heard Highborne yell once again at the men,

“What are you doing?! Get moving! Time is of the essence and money!” Kelly never thought the day could get better but it did ever so slightly listening to Highborne losing it up there. Once Kelly made it to the bottom, he glanced around the area and didn’t like what he saw. A rock was on top of Peter’s leg and another was on his arm. Peter made a joke although a little one,

“Not so bad, right?” Kelly didn’t laugh as he removed his helmet and squatted down by him, holding onto a slab of concrete to keep his balance as he glanced around. He asked, 

“It’s Peter, right?” Peter nodded and Kelly continued, “Can you move your foot?” Peter shook his head and said,

“No. I haven’t even felt it for half an hour.” Kelly tried to move the huge ton of concrete off of Peter’s foot but it wouldn’t budge. Kelly then pointed to the rest of his body as he asked,

“How about the rest of you?” Peter answered Kelly’s question in short breaths because he was in too much pain to take a full breath.

“Can’t breathe too good.” Kelly moved closer and began to carefully but firmly touch Peter’s chest. As soon as he got lower where his ribs were, Peter cried out in pain. 

“Okay, okay.” then immediately stopped what he was doing. Peter couldn’t take much more so he told Kelly,

“Just-just get my foot out, I’ll be fine.” Kelly tried to calm the poor man. A panicked person is a dangerous one. 

“All right, we’re gonna get you out of here.” Peter calmed down once he heard Kelly say that. He then said as to understand what is at least going on with himself, 

“Do me one favor.” Kelly looked at him and nodded his head to signal that he was listening. Peter continued,

“No lies.” Kelly nodded then went straight to the point; no bullshiting the man,

“Fair enough. I think you’re bleeding on the inside. Your foot is the least of your problems.” Then yelled up at the horrible man that currently led Truck 81, “Highborne! We need this hole opened up. Highborne!” 

“Yeah, yeah, I heard you. Let’s go! Move it! Get this hole opened more!” Once Kelly heard Highborne’s response, he turned his attention back on Peter, the man he was trying to save. He told him,

“Hang on. We’ll get you back to your wife in no time.”

Peter didn’t know if Kelly was telling the truth or not. So he said,

“Yeah, sure.” Kelly then asked,

“You saying I got a bad poker face?” Peter elaborated what he meant earlier when he had said yeah sure,

“I’m saying I’d be all-in on that one.” Kelly told him that breathing and talking was a good thing to be doing. Just then the hole that Highborne and his men were trying to open up suddenly shifted causing debris to fall onto Kelly and Peter. Kelly protected Peter with his own body. He heard Highborne yell down to him, 

“You dead, Severide?” Kelly really hated that guy but called up to him, 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Then called for Dawson, “Get Dawson over here!” She appeared a few minutes later and peered over the edge. Kelly explained to her,

“His lower leg is trapped, there’s internal bleeding.” She thought about ways that could help him and asked Kelly,

“There’s no way to release it?” but all her thoughts were dashed when Kelly answered her question with a hard no. Peter tried to keep things happier if only for a second considering the situation,

“Other than that, everything’s peachy.” Dawson then said,

“All right, I’ll call for a trauma surgeon.” before she could get out of sight, Kelly called up after her,

“Hey, how long?” Dawson told him honestly because she really didn’t know how long it would take to get a surgeon there.

“I don’t know.” After she said that, Dawson left to go call the hospital to ask for a surgeon. Peter had to know so he asked,

“And what would a trauma surgeon do that you couldn’t?” Kelly didn’t sugar coat anything when he said honestly,

“Take off your foot.” Peter looked scared for a split second then remembered if that was the only way he could live and see his wife again then he would allow that to happen. After a few minutes went by, Peter asked,

“What’s your name?” Kelly glanced at him before he answered,

“Severide, Kelly. Everyone pretty much calls me Severide, except for Matt.”

“Kelly. You married, Kelly?” When Kelly shook his head Peter then asked, “How about a boyfriend?” Kelly looked at Peter in slight shock at his suggestion. Peter continued,

“Wondering ‘how did I know?’ It’s quite simple. You had a fond look on your face when you mentioned him. Is uh… Matt, the one you love?” Kelly blushes slightly and pretended to look at anything but Peter’s face. He answered although a little on the quiet side,

“Yes, but he hasn’t even told me if he wants to be with me. Even after I confessed.” Then he finally glanced at Peter and demanded, “How are you ok with this? I mean… don’t you think that it is wrong of me to love a man?”

“Kelly, I don’t judge on who other people fall in love with. I don’t care if you love a man. I think you should love whoever you like. Whether it is a man or a woman. Loving someone is the same.” Kelly smiled at Peter, grateful that he was so accepting of his sexuality. Peter continued, “What does he do? If you don’t mind my asking.”

“He’s a firefighter like me. We actually work together.” Peter rose his eyebrows a little before he nodded toward the top of the hole as he asked, 

“Is he here?” Kelly glanced up toward the top of the hole then back down at Peter before he shook his head. He said,

“No, he got hurt last week. Otherwise, he would be up top calling the shots while I’m down here with you. He’s like me.We’re lieutenants at Firehouse 51.” Peter coughed a little before he stated,

“That’s too bad. Don’t wait too long. You go to him and tell him how you feel again and again until he either answers your love or doesn’t but you keep trying.” Kelly smiles a little and nodded his understanding. He then asked about his wife. Peter then began to tell Kelly about his wife,

“My wife’s name is Georgie. Her dad wanted a boy, but he kept getting girls.” That reminded Kelly of a man he once knew from his street.

“There was a barbershop on my street named Harris and Sons. Mr. Harris named it when his wife was pregnant with their first. Ended up having five girls.” that got them both laughing until Peter started to cough up blood. Kelly said gently, 

“All right, easy.” Suddenly, Shay appeared at the top of the hole and began to drop a bag of fluid down to him. She told him, 

“Severide, find a vein and get this saline into him.” As soon as he grabbed the bag of saline, he had to know how long for that trauma surgeon so he asked. Shay answered him,

“15 minutes.” Kelly didn’t like how long it was going to take, he knew Peter probably didn’t have that long. Peter questioned,

“Kelly?” to get his attention. Kelly was trying to get the saline into one of his arms but stopped to answer the poor man. Peter then continued once he had Kelly’s attention, 

“We don’t have time for a surgeon. You’re gonna have to do it. Take off the foot. Get me out of here, get me home.” Kelly didn’t like what Peter was suggesting because there was a strong possibility that he could kill him instead of help him. So instead of answering Peter’s request, Kelly yelled up to Dawson, 

“Tell that surgeon to hurry the hell up!” He heard Dawson yell into her radio,

“Chopper him here if you have to!” Then once again the hole shifted again and Kelly had to cover Peter with his own body again. He asked as soon as the debris stopped falling,

“You’re all right.” Highborne yelled down to him again,

“Severide, get your ass out of that hole. We’re pulling back. It’s going to give.” Peter this time agreed with that man up above and told Kelly,

“He’s right. Go.” However, Kelly wasn’t going to leave the poor man to this horrible fate. So he instead hollered back up to Highborne,

“Highborne, I need a sawzall!” When the man didn’t answer right away, Kelly yelled again, “Highborne!”

“I heard you!” Then to one of the men, “You! Get me a sawzall stat!” Kelly turned back to Peter to find that he had closed his eyes. He tapped Peter on his shoulder,

“Hey, Peter.” Peter opened his eyes and slurred his words a little as he told him,

“Yeah, I’m st-- still with you, Kelly.” Kelly needed to keep him awake so he asked about Georgie again,

“Tell me about Georgie.” Peter smiled as he fondly spoke about her,

“I-I married above my head. Been playing catch-up ever since.” Kelly was smiling too as he listened to Peter talk about his wife and hoped that one day he could say the same things about Matt. Then he asked,

“Do you have any children?” Peter shook his head before he answered Kelly’s question,

“No, we tried.” Then Highborne appeared above Kelly with the sawzall in his hand on a rope and stated, 

“Hey, Severide.” then started to lower it down to him. Kelly grabbed the sawzall and untied it before kneeling back down by Peter. Peter stopped him,

“Kelly?” Kelly glanced up at him as he continued,

“You got a phone?” Kelly nodded and pulled out his phone from his pocket then held it out to the man in front of him.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, the surgeon finally arrived on scene and Dawson yelled down to Kelly, 

“Trauma surgeon’s on his way down.” but it was too late for Kelly was all ready making his way back up and out of the hole. He told her,

“It’s a recovery now.” Kelly walked away, made his way back up the ladder then took off his helmet and was just about to take off his gloves when he saw blood from Peter on them. He took them off after a few seconds and dropped them onto the ground before he continued on his way from the scene.

* * *

As soon as they got back to the station, Kelly was getting out of his turnout gear when he heard Herrmann. 

“Kelly! Get over here. We got something for you.” then saw Herrmann walk over with his wife and kids holding a big piece of paper. 

“Come on, let’s go. Bring it out, open it up.” Herrmann’s kids opened the piece of paper and showed everyone. The paper said ‘thanks for saving our dad’. Kelly walked over even though he would rather be in his office. Herrmann explained that his kids got their artistic talent from their mother. He then said to his kids,

“Hey, you guys, this is the man who saved my life. And in turn I saved him.” Kelly smiled and chuckled a little as Herrmann nodded at him. Herrmann’s wife walked over and gave him a hug then whispered,

“Thank you.” before she pulled back and Kelly nodded at her. His way of saying you’re welcome. Kelly then slipped away from the Herrmann clan while everyone else from Truck 81 and Ambulance 61 kept them busy. 

He managed to get away and entered his office. He was going to get an earful once Herrmann found out that he snuck away. But at this moment, Kelly didn’t care. He shut the blinds and locked his door so no one would bother him. He pulled out his phone and debated if he should call or not. Then Kelly remembered Peter’s words and called.

_“Hello?”_ Matt questioned into the phone and Kelly honestly didn’t think he would answer much less this quickly. Matt continued,

_“Kelly, what do you want?”_ Kelly didn’t think he would get this far. He had to think up a response before Matt hung up on him.

“Hey, Matt. I’m just calling to let you know that this Saturday is the Saturday Barbeque. If you feel like you’re up for it, stop on by. I’m sure the guys would love to see you but if you aren’t it’s not a big deal.” Matt must have heard something in Kelly’s voice because the next words out of his mouth were,

_“It’s all hands on deck. Of course I’ll be there. Now get to the real reason you called, Kelly. What’s going on? Are you okay?”_ Kelly wasn’t sure if he wanted Matt to know what was going on but then remembered that he was trying to change for him. He said,

“Yeah, I’m fine. It was just a bad call.” On the other end, Kelly heard rustling followed by a slight pained sigh. Then Matt came back on,

_“Want to talk about it?”_ Again Kelly didn’t want to say what was going on but thought better of it. He knew Matt that if he said to drop it, Matt would but Matt would also have a hard time talking about anything with Kelly. Kelly wanted to get Matt to love him and telling him to stop asking would only harm his already small chance to begin with. 

“I couldn’t save the person, I tried to save. He still died, no matter what I did.” Another rustling sound followed by another pained sigh ventured through the phone before Matt said,

_“Kelly, you know as much as I, that we can’t save them all. I’m sorry that you had to go through with that. Are you really okay?”_ Kelly decided not to lie to him again for he really did feel like shit and needed Matt to be there even if it was just listening to him while on the phone.

“Uhh… no, I’m not but just hearing your voice was all I needed to make it better. I hope I’ll see you at the barbeque.” Matt’s sounded softer almost gentle when he came back on,

_“Kelly… I know we haven’t been seeing eye-to-eye lately but… I’m glad you told me. For what it’s worth, you did your best and that’s all that you can do. That’s all that matters.”_ After hearing that he would be there and that he was glad he could help, Kelly then hung up the phone. He then walked out of his office and down to the conference room where they were going to hold the whiteboard session.

* * *

He stopped just outside the room when he remembered that he still hasn’t called Peter’s wife. He wanted to be the one to tell her, how he had Peter’s last words and that he was with him in the end. He pulled out his phone and dialed her number. When an automatic voice from her voice machine answered telling him to leave a voice message after the beep, Kelly lost what he was going to say. Just then Boden and another guy walked passed talking,

“They’re good guys.” Boden was telling the man when he saw Kelly so he said his name to get his attention. ”Kelly.” then all three of them walked in. Boden stood at the front while the rest of the men were listening and sitting around anywhere they could find a spot to sit. Kelly stood in the back next to Highborne. The man that Boden came in with was talking about Darden and that was still a fresh wound for some of them. He was standing in front of a white board drawing not an exact picture of the 788 Maple Street house fire. Using a red marker, the man made an X on where Darden was entering all the while talking, 

“Darden was entering the attic window here, while Squad 3 was conducting first floor search and rescue here. Fire started in the basement, spread up to the kitchen. Now, we all know fire is in a constant hunt for oxygen. It’s why we cut our vent point away from our entry point. No vent, and the fire’s comin’ after us. What started in the basement, now is looking for a way out. A larger vent cut in the back of the house, and the fire never would have made it upstairs.” Kelly wanted to walk out because his shoulder was killing him and just the fact, he was listening to this man talk about Darden. Kelly heard Highborne whisper to him,

“This Darden guy must have been stupid to break open a window like that. He should never have been a firefighter. He couldn’t even remember the basics.” then looked at Kelly as he said the next part, “He must have learned that from Casey. I mean after all look what happened to him. He really is a killer.” Kelly nearly hit the guy right there and he so wanted to. However, he just walked out brushing hard against Highborne as he did so.

* * *

Kelly went straight for his locker and grabbed his little black bag before he made his way into the bathroom and into a stall. Once everyone was out of the bathroom, Kelly opened his black bag and pulled out the tiny bottle and a syringe. He removed the cap of the syringe using his teeth and put it into the bottle. He pulled the end of the syringe with how much he needed and stuck it into his arm near his shoulder. He then waited for the medicine to kick in before Kelly left the bathroom.

* * *

A few days later, Kelly reluctantly came to the barbeque, grabbed a beer and found a place to sit with his squad. Kelly wasn’t in a good mood because he didn’t want to be there and he was waiting for Matt to show up. Hadley was telling the squad a joke,

“He’s sitting there… with a napkin on his face sticking his tongue through it, and I’m like, ‘Dude, you are my favorite 12 year old.’” That made everyone laugh but Kelly for he was too busy watching for Matt. When Hadley noticed Kelly wasn’t laughing he questioned,

“What’s up with you?” 

“Nothing. All good.” Then heard a big commotion happening behind him. Kelly turned around just in time to see Matt slowly walking toward the barbeque before he was bombarded by all the men ibcluding the chief. Kelly’s bad mood went away the moment he saw Matt. He never stood up so fast but walked just as slow over to him. He was just about to walk up to him when Heather walked up behind Matt. So instead of confronting her and getting his ass handed to him again, Kelly walked over by one of the trees and leaned against it. Kelly heard Herrmann say,

“Casey! Glad you’re back, Lieutenant.” then watched as Herrmann gave him a hand shake followed by a brother type hug. Matt said,

“So glad to be back, Herrmann.” Everyone else had said pretty much the same thing and Matt, who didn’t really like to be the center of attention just stood there and made small talk until they all left.

* * *

Matt noticed Kelly was standing against a tree a little ways away all alone and figured the reason was Heather. He knew she and Kelly were not getting along after Andy died and that she blamed him for his death. So he thought up a way to get them at least talking hopefully without yelling at one another. 

“Heather.” he called and she turned from watching her boys stand away from the other kids to look at Matt. He continued,

“At least meet him halfway. You don’t have to forgive him right away but… Just give him a chance. Otherwise, you better blame me for Andy’s death too. It was my fault too. I was his Lieutenant and I should’ve looked out for him better.” Heather stared at Matt in shock and tried to protest,

“Matt, come on, he-” but Matt stopped her.

“Heather, be reasonable. I am at fault just as much as Kelly is. So please I’m not saying you have to forgive him right this second. Just... give him a chance, ok? That’s all that I ask.” then waved Kelly over.

* * *

Kelly saw Matt wave him over and after a few seconds of debating whether he should walk over there or not, walked over to Heather and Matt. As soon as Kelly got there, Matt walked over to Andy’s sons who were standing around watching the other kids play football. He picked up one of the boys as he said,

“Come on, Squirt, we’re gonna play some football.” Kelly watched Matt intently as he played football to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. Heather noticed and commented on it,

“If you keep watching him like that, people are going to notice and start rumors. ‘Kelly Severide and Matt Casey are in a relationship’.” Kelly took his eyes off Matt to look at Heather in surprise. He thought she would never talk to him without scorn or anger laced in her voice. 

“Was I... that noticeable?” Kelly hesitantly asked in slight worry that he might have missed heard her. Heather then said,

“Not really, but who's to say that someone won't notice. Move more in front of me. That way people will think you are just talking to me and not watching your ‘boyfriend’ play football while he is hurt.” Kelly after thinking about it for a minute, did what she had suggested and was glad for it. Kelly was watching Matt fall to the ground with a few of the kids on top of him. He was laughing. Really laughing and Kelly missed his laugh. Heather then surprised him again,

“I’m... willing to meet you halfway but that doesn’t mean I forgive you. But Matt was right. I shouldn’t blame you for everything and for my part on that. I’m sorry.” Heather then glanced up at him after she said that. Kelly took everything she said to heart and told her,

“I am willing to take anything I can get. If that means halfway then that means halfway.” Heather then gave Kelly a small smile before she said,

“I’m gonna get a beer.” but before she could move even an inch, Kelly told her he would get one as well as something for himself and Matt then walked away.

* * *

Matt watched Kelly walk away after his talk with Heather and he hoped they figured out a way to at least get along long enough not to fight. He then felt pain where he got surgery from when he fell at the Franklin Street fire then walked back toward Heather after he told the kids he was done playing for now. Matt walked up to Heather and gave her a look that said ‘Well?’ and Heather explained,

“I did what you said. I’m willing to meet halfway and he agreed with me. Kelly is getting me a beer and something for you as well.” Matt then glanced over to the cooler and saw Kelly talking to a girl. He felt disappointment as well as jealousy and that surprised him. He then saw Kelly was staring at him so he looked away.

* * *

Kelly walked over to the cooler to get a beer for Heather and himself and a water for Matt because of the meds that he’s on shouldn’t be taken with beer. He was just about to walk back to Heather and Matt when he heard a woman’s voice behind him.

“Well, he protects Chicago and serves the beer?” Kelly turned to see Nicki standing beside him leaning on the cooler. He told her,

“Um.. no not really.” She then pointed to the two beers and a water in his hand as she flirted with him,

“You sure about that? Because it sure seems like you are serving the beer.” then laughed before she introduced herself, “I’m Nicki by the way. How long you been a firefighter?” Kelly noticed Matt was staring at him and answered her question quickly so Matt doesn’t think that he is going to do something with this girl when Kelly knew that he wasn’t. 

“Since the day I was born. Look, I gotta run, Nicki. Someone is waiting for me and I don’t want to keep them waiting anymore than they have too.” Nicki nodded her understanding and moved out Kelly’s way. Kelly walked back over by Matt and Heather then gave Heather her beer and she followed after her boys. Kelly tried to give Matt his water but Matt wouldn’t look at him or talk to him.

“Here.” Kelly said after a few minutes of silence and gave Matt his water. Matt took it although reluctantly and sighed. 

“If you want to be with that girl, go. I’m not going to stop you.” Kelly nearly spit out his beer after he had just taken a drink. He swallowed before he told Matt,

“What? No, I don’t want to be with that girl.” then glanced around and saw that everyone was busy talking, or laughing to notice if Matt and himself were to just slip away for a minute. He grabbed Matt’s hand and pulled him along. 

“Kelly, let go of my hand! What if someone sees?! Kelly!” but he didn’t listen to Matt’s protests and continued to pull him with him. Eventually, Kelly found a spot where no one would see them and stopped. Matt immediately pulled his hand from Kelly’s and demanded,

“What the hell Kelly? What if someone saw us holding hands or sneak away?! What would they think if they saw us?!” But Kelly merely gently grabbed the side of Matt’s face with one hand and his other grabbed one of Matt’s hands. Matt fearfully glanced around but Kelly kept his head still and told him sternly,

“I only have eyes for you, Matt. No one else. You are the only one I want to be with even if you don’t want too. I love you, Matt, ok? You and only you.” then pulled him into a hug. Kelly placed a gentle kiss on the top of Matt’s forehead before he let go and backed away. Matt blushed ever so slightly. He chanced a glance at Kelly and noticed that he was blushing as well. Kelly then looked away as he said,

“Well, we better head back before someone notices we are gone.” before he began to walk away and Matt followed. Kelly stopped and turned toward Matt,

“If at any time and I mean anytime you want to leave because you are feeling pain or that you just want to leave. I want you to discreetly grab my hand and squeeze it once for leaving because you want to and twice because of pain, ok?” Matt nodded then they both made it back to the barbeque.

* * *

A few hours later, Kelly and Matt were sitting together at one of the tables and were having a good time when Kelly felt his hand be squeezed twice. He glanced over at Matt, who was smiling and laughing but underneath this facade was pain. Kelly squeezed back before he let go of Matt’s hand and got up. He whispered to Matt,

“I’m going to talk with Boden about getting you home. You tell them that you’re tired and need to get home or something like that.” then walked away to find Boden. Matt did what Kelly suggested told everyone that he was tired and wanted to get home. 

Kelly found Boden talking to a few former firefighters and their spouses when he walked up. He told Boden he and Matt were leaving. Boden wasn’t too happy but figured that they were here long enough and told Kelly that it was ok. Kelly thanked Boden then walked back to Matt. They said their goodbyes then left the barbeque.

* * *

Kelly drove Matt home then parked his car on the curb before he got out and helped Matt get out. He and Matt walked up to the front door and Kelly stopped before the door as Matt unlocked it. Matt walked inside but stopped and turned back to Kelly.

“I… had a good time, today. I’m really glad I came. It was nice seeing everyone again.” Kelly smiled and nodded his head as he also agreed with him,

“Yeah, so did I. You actually made my day better. I was having a bad day before you arrived and when I saw you, my bad mood went away instantly.” Matt smiled too and Kelly never wanted to kiss the man in front of him so badly than in this moment. So before he ruined the moment by kissing the man who was just starting to trust him again, Kelly stepped back and said his goodbyes. Then he got back into his car and drove home.

* * *

Matt watched Kelly leave but oddly felt disappointed. Did he really want Kelly to kiss him? He couldn’t even answer his own question. So he turned around and was just about to go inside when he heard his name,

“Hey, Matt.” Matt looked behind him and saw Hallie walking up his driveway. As she walked up, Matt remembered the last time he saw her and how he cried. He never felt more embarrassed than he did right this moment. Matt stopped her before she could get any closer,

“I want you to leave.” Hallie stopped dead in her tracks and stared at Matt in confusion. Matt felt like an ass but he didn’t want her to see anymore of his weaknesses than she already had. 

“Please, Hallie just go back home, ok? I don’t want you here.” Hallie tried to change his mind but then remembered the last they were together,

“Come on, Matt... Is this about the day I got back and you told me how Kelly was treating you? Matt it’s ok to cry sometimes. Everyone does it.” However, that was the wrong thing to say because Hallie saw Matt close in on himself. He told her, although it was like he was in a memory from his past,

“No it’s not ok to cry. Casey men don’t cry. Casey men are strong and independent. They don’t hang around other men to read pansy books or whatever it was you were do-” then he seemed to come back to his senses. He said to her almost pleadingly,

“Please, Hallie just go. Go home.” Hallie sighed then reluctantly left Matt alone with his very troubled thoughts.

* * *

Kelly arrived home, called out to Shay and got no answer. So he figured she was still out hanging with that new girl she had at the barbeque. Amber? Connie? Maybe Corinne? Kelly couldn’t remember. He had just turned on the game, grabbed a beer from his fridge and was just about to sit down when someone knocked on the door. Kelly sighed and set down his beer then walked to his door. He figured it wasn’t Shay since she had a key, so he tried to guess who it could be. He hoped it was Matt. Kelly opened the door and almost sighed out loud his disappointment. Nicki was standing outside his door and Kelly did not want to deal with her right now.

“You, um, you left your jacket.” Kelly thanked her and tried to grab his jacket from her but she had a good grip on it. She then leaned in as Kelly tried to pull his jacket out her hand. She almost kissed him. Kelly let go of his jacket and stepped back. Nicki almost stumbled when Kelly suddenly let go. Kelly half in shock demanded of her,

“Whoa! I’m sorry but did you just try to kiss me?” Nicki, who was still holding his jacket, smiled and said, 

“Yes, I did. Do you always do what your chief tells you to do?” Kelly figured the only way to get this girl to stop flirting with him was to basically tell her the truth. 

“Trust me, this isn’t because of the chief. I’m seeing someone.” Nicki didn’t even bat an eyelash upon hearing that he was seeing someone and that wasn’t good. She just said,

“So. That doesn’t matter. Unless there’s somebody else in there?” Kelly didn’t know what to say for he was still in shock that this chick had nearly kissed him and ruined every chance he had with Matt. He just answered truthfully,

“No not at the moment. Just the Cubs.” Nicki then said as she gave him his jacket back,

“If you change your mind, you know where to find me.” before she walked away. As soon as Kelly figured she was gone, he grabbed his keys and drove back over to Matt’s. However, when he got there Matt was not in any mood to do much of anything, much less talk. Kelly walked up to Matt’s front door, and knocked. When no answer came, Kelly tried the handle and it was unlocked. He walked inside calling out to Matt,

“Matt? You left your door unlocked. I’m coming in. Matt?” then rounded a corner that led into the kitchen and saw Matt crouched on the floor next to the counter with his hands on his head. Kelly rushed over to him thinking he’s hurt and kneeled beside him. He began to check him for any injuries as he questioned him,

“Matt?! Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere? Matt, answer me! Matt?!” When no answer came, Kelly was about to touch him when a small voice came out of the man in front of him.

“Don’t touch me.” Kelly stopped immediately and albeit confused by what was said but still he called to him again,

“Matt? It’s okay. It’s me, Kelly. Your… Your best friend. I’m only trying to help. Tell me what’s going on?” Matt then peered up at Kelly and he was shocked. Matt looked pale, his eyes practically had no life in them and there was fear in them as well. Something happened to trigger this. Matt was usually so composed and calm. So something had to have happened but Kelly didn’t know what. Kelly tried again,

“That’s right. It’s me, Kelly. Come on back, Matt.” that seemed to work on getting Matt to come back from where he was. Matt then came back to his senses and saw that Kelly was in front of him. He, with no help from Kelly, stood up and moved away from Kelly and Kelly gave him a confused look. 

“Please leave.” Matt whispered embarrassedly but Kelly didn’t move from his spot in front of him, Matt tried again only louder this time.

“Please get out.” Kelly took one step forward in a non threatening way toward Matt as he protested,

“Matt, it’s okay. It’s just me.” However, Matt didn’t care that it was Kelly. He didn’t want anyone, especially Kelly to see him like that. Matt put his hand to stop him from getting any closer to him and told him again,

“Get out of my house.” Kelly gently grabbed Matt’s hand off of his chest and tried to pull him into a hug but Matt used all of his strength and pushed Kelly away. Kelly stumbled back and nearly fell into the counter behind him. He yelled out of fear not anger,

“What the hell Matthew?!” and as soon as he realized what he said he tried to take it back, “Oh my God, Matt! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it! Matt, I’m so sorry!” but Matt was lost to his childhood memories of when his parents would yell and beat him for practically no reason even if he was good. He firmly stated,

“Get out.” Kelly walked up to him still apologizing but Matt stopped him again and yelled this time,

“Get out! Get out of my house!” He finally grabbed Kelly by the arms and nearly dragged him out of his house. Kelly tried to stop him but for whatever reason, his body wouldn’t listen to him and Matt threw him out of his house. Kelly stumbled again as Matt yelled again,

“Get off my property! Just get out of here!” then slammed the front door when Kelly tried once again to take a step toward him. Tears nearly threatened to fall as he made his way back to his car and when Kelly got inside his car, he screamed,

“Damn it!” over and over as he hit his steering wheel with one hand. Kelly let the tears fall as he thought his one chance with Matt just flew out the window. He started up his car and drove away thinking nothing mattered anymore. He just wanted to forget what happened tonight by getting drunk.

* * *

A few minutes later, Matt came back to senses again and realized what had happened. He immediately regretted it and ran outside to try and stop Kelly from driving away. However, he was too late, for Kelly was all ready driving away and all he could see was the tail lights getting further and further away. Matt slowly walked back inside, feeling nothing in his chest but pain and sadness. He sat down at one of his chairs in the kitchen and played over and over the events that had just happened. Torturing himself until he couldn’t take it anymore and his anger at himself got the best of him. 

He stood up and threw his chair at the wall, shattering it then tipped over the table before he slammed his hand on the counter. Then the tears fell and he didn’t nor couldn’t stop them. As Matt slid down beside the counter, he thought,

_(I could have had Kelly holding me right now. But I'm such an idiot. Now, he's gone forever.)_ and cried all alone. 

* * *

Kelly got up the next morning, feeling like shit as he remembered the fight he and Matt had the night before. So he got dressed and made some coffee then his breakfast. He had just sat down to eat his breakfast when the girl Shay was with at the barbeque came down the steps from Shay’s bedroom.

“Have a good day.” She told Kelly as she grabbed her things that she had left. Kelly who wasn’t in a good mood but still wanted to be nice told her,

“Yeah, you too.” Corinne walked away and met up with Shay who had just woken up as well. They said their goodbyes and kissed each other before Shay walked up behind Kelly saying,

“Hi.” Kelly took a bit of his food then answered her with a morning since his day was already crap but he didn’t want to be rude. Shay then asked,

“Did you eat my yogurt?” Kelly froze for a second as he barely remembered eating something that might have been her yogurt last night after he got home. He got pretty drunk after his and Matt’s little fight. Kelly told her the truth,

“I… might have eaten your yogurt. Sorry.” Shay sighed but didn’t say anything as she knew that something had happened. She came home with Corinne to find Kelly passed out on the couch with an empty bottle of one of their strongest booze in his hand. So she knew something bad happened if he had opened one of those but she didn’t know what. Instead, she stated, 

“Was good seeing Heather and Matt yesterday.” Shay heard Kelly hesitate as she grabbed some milk from the fridge before he answered her,

“Yeah. Yeah, it was.” then walked away leaving her to finish her breakfast alone.

* * *

When Kelly got to work next shift, Boden had called for a meeting on the apporatitis floor to talk about Lieutenant Highborne as well as a few other important things. 

“Ok, first thing on the agenda is that Lieutenant Highborne will not be with us any longer. He has been relieved of his duty for working with 51. Until Lieutenant Casey is cleared fit for duty, I will be in charge of Truck 81.” Everyone there was not surprised in the least about Highborne getting the boot. In fact, they were all relieved that he was gone and they couldn’t be happier that Lieutenant Casey was coming back hopefully soon. The chief then continued on with the rest of his list of important things to talk about. A few minutes later, Boden was just about finished up when Otis spoke up,

“Chief?” Boden turned to Otis and gave him the go ahead to continue with what he had wanted to ask.

“I was wondering what the proper protocol would be for designing a new crest for the truck. It’s just, sir, Engine’s got a camel, which I get. And Squad has got a badass three-headed dog, which I get. And we have a goat, sir.” Otis finished talking and waited for Boden to answer his question. Boden told him,

“Named after Billy ‘Goat’ Bukanski. First Chief of Firehouse 51 and a mentor to me.” Otis immediately put the crest business away as soon as he heard that it was named after someone the chief knew. He said,

“Just forget I said anything.” Boden asked,

“That it?” just to see if anyone else had something to say and when no one else came forward he ended the meeting. 

“Then y’all do good work out there.” and everyone went back to work doing whatever it was they were doing when they arrived at the firehouse. Kelly, who wanted to make a quick phone call followed after the chief and had to know,

“That true about the crest?” the chief only scoffed as they both walked away

* * *

Kelly went to the locker room and to his locker. He tried calling Peter’s wife again and this time got the courage to leave a voicemail on her answering machine.

“So if you would please give me a call back so we could arrange a time to talk. Thanks.” then hung up his phone. Hadley and Cap walked up behind Kelly and questioned,

“You want a smoke break?” but Kelly knew what they really meant when they asked if he wanted to smoke. So he called them out on it,

“You mean you wanna bum a cigar off me?” They didn’t even have the decency to be ashamed for being called out on. Not that Kelly was really mad nor did he really care. Cap just said, 

“If you’re offering.” Kelly just shook his head and grabbed his box of cigars and opened it. Both men grabbed their cigars and in their own way thanked Kelly.

“If you insist.”

“Thank you.” After Hadley and Cap took their cigars, Kelly grabbed one too then followed after his men outside and passed the girls in the ambu talking about some guy Dawson took to the Saturday Barbeque as they went. Shay and Dawson were cleaning their rig while Kelly and his squad were smoking their cigars when the call came in.

**Accident. 501 North Wabash. Truck 81, Ambulance 61, Squad 3.**

They all scrambled to their rigs and drove off to the scene of another accident. 

* * *

Truck 81, Squad 3 and Ambulance 61 all arrived on scene, to see one car smashed from part of a window washer, people running for their lives and more pieces of the window washer falling from the sky. Kelly ordered all of the men,

“Get everyone back and seal it off!” Mouch, Cruz, and the rest of Truck 81 climbed out of the truck and saw the damage and Mouch statedhow he was feeling in two words.

“Good Lord.” a couple of the men walked over to a small crowd of people and began to order them back for their safety as well as the safety of the rest of the men.

“Move it back. Back! Back. Stuff’s falling! Move back! Come on, move, move, move. Come on, back guys.” Cruz walked over to the car with part of a window washer on it and heard the poor woman in the driver seat half yelling and half praying,

“Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.” Cruz questioned as he got close and tried the driver side’s door handle,

“Ma’am?” Cruz heard Severide yell as he continued to pull the handles on the car to see if any of them would open. 

“Capp! Hadley! Driver’s side. Start there.” Hadley and Capp nodded at their lieutenant and began to make their way over with the Jaw of Life.The woman in the driver’s seat asked Cruz about her friend.

“My friend. My friend, Cameron!” Cruz asked the woman about her friend as he looked all over the the driver’s side of the car for any sign, 

“Where is she?” the girl stated like it was the most obvious thing,

“She’s right next to me. I-- I can’t see her.” then yelled in fear as well as worry, “Cam!” Cruz glanced up at Severide and he checked the girl’s friend for a pulse since she had part of the window washer slammed in her skull. It had killed her instantly. Severide shook his head, a signal that the friend was gone. Capp and Hadley got there and tried to get the door open when Severide called out to everyone, 

“Get back, it’s falling from the roof!” just as another section of the window washer fell onto the car parked behind the other car who had a woman inside. Chief Boden arrived on scene seconds after another piece of the window washer fell and Mouch gave him the update.

“Passenger trapped. Conscious. But we had to pull back because stuff’s still falling.” Capp also put his two cents in,

“That driver’s door is jammed up tight.” Boden listened to both men before he gave the order to everyone, 

“Okay, Capp, Hadley, on the K-12 you cut the top hinge. Severide, you work the jaws from the bottom edge. The moment that hinge pops, you wedge that door open.Cruz, Mouch, collar the girl. Get her on a board. Let’s go.” Then they all went to work on getting that door open. Eventually Severide and Hadley managed to get the door open, Capp grabbed it and pulled it off and threw it to the side. All the while the girl watched in fear. 

As soon as the door was off, Cruz and Mouch ran in there to get the girl out. Cruz told the girl gently,

“Stay forward for me.” as he put on a neck brace on the girl, Mouch and Mills had the backboard all ready to go. Cruz then turned to Mouch and Mills and signaled for them to bring the board over. The three of them managed to get her on the board just as another part of the window washer began to fall. Boden yelled,

“Move her out now! It’s falling down now!” then everyone rushed out of harm's way when seconds later, a huge shard of glass slammed onto the ground. Cruz, Mouch, Mills and Vargas carried her on the backboard over to Dawson and Shay. They set her down onto the stretcher just as Dawson and Shay said,

“You’re okay, sweetie. You’re fine. You’re--” but she was interrupted by the girl as she asked once again about her friend.

“How’s Cameron?” When no one answered her she kept going, “I just dropped my phone so we pulled over and-- Please, is Cameron okay? Is she okay? Please?” She pleaded with Dawson and Dawson told her a partial lie to spare her of the awful truth,

“I’m not sure, honey. Let’s just concentrate on you right now, okay?” then began to load her up into the ambulance. Seconds later, a cop and a distraught older woman came around one of the trucks. The cop was yelling and trying to stop her,

“Ma’am, please!” but she got free and stumbled into Boden’s arms as she demanded to know where her daughter was.

“My daughter! My daughter was in that car. Is she okay?” Boden held her as she trembled in fear and shock and worry. He told her honestly,

“I don’t know. They’re doing what they can.” However, the woman wouldn’t stop and continued to explain more about her daughter,

“Her name is Julie.” That still didn’t help the poor woman or Boden on where her daughter could be. He told her again,

“I really don’t know.” She then said,

“She has blond hair.” and Boden glanced at the car that had a red headed girl in the passenger seat dead and a blond one still alive behind him. He then pointed over behind him as he reassured her,

“She’s okay. She’s right over there.” the woman ran to her daughter yelling at the top of lungs as she went,

“Julie! That’s my daughter!” Vargas walked up behind Boden as he watched the woman with her daughter. He said,

“Good thing she didn’t say red hair.” Boden grimmly looked back at the dead girl still inside the car as the men worked on getting her out. After saving one girl and getting her dead friend out of the car, everyone began to pack up all the equipment so they could go back to the station. Kelly was just about to get into his Squad truck when his phone rang, he answered it right away. 

“Hello? Yeah. Yeah, sure. If that’s good for you, I’ll be there. Yeah. Okay.” It was Peter’s wife, Georgie. She had called to set up a time so they could talk about her husband. Then once a time was set, Kelly hung up the phone and got into his truck then drove back to the firehouse. As soon as shift ended, all of the men as well as Shay and Dawson went to a bar to drink after the day they had. Everyone but Kelly for he had to meet with Peter’s wife.

* * *

Kelly drove over to Peter and his wife’s house with his last words for her on a recording. He got out of his car and walked up to the door. He knocked on the door and an older woman opened the door. 

“Yes?”

“You must be Peter’s wife, Georgie. My name is Kelly Severide. I was the one you spoke with on the phone. I was with your husband in his final moments.” She then told him to come inside and Kelly followed. They both sat down on the couch and Kelly pulled out his phone. He got the video with Peter’s last words on it then played it. Kelly had to steel himself for listening to it again. 

_“Is the blood off? I don’t want her to see the blood.”_ Kelly and Georgie heard Peter ask followed by Kelly own voice a few moments later,

_“Yeah. Here. There. You’re good.”_ Peter then began to fuss about his hair and how he should have got it cut. Kelly told him that he looked fine then Peter spoke directly to his wife,

_“Georgie, my love. God, I wish I were better at this.”_ Georgie, Peter’s wife gasped as tears appeared her eyes, 

“Oh, my God.” Peter continued on the recording and Georgie listened with a heavy heart to the man, who was her everything, saying his final words to her.

_“I made a lot of promises to you over the years. Some were harder to keep. I promised you… a house in Provence. I’m sorry we never made it there. You worked so hard on that French. But any promise… that I ever made about you.. About how you were… the final piece to my puzzle, those I kept til today. Every day. I know- I know what you’re thinking about Kelly here, ‘cause I thought it too. He’s exactly the son that I pictured for us. He’s got a man that he has confessed too but won’t keep trying. Do you think you could convince him? If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have had this chance to say good-bye. Oh, my love. Do you remember how I made you promise me that you’d let me die before you? Well, thank you, my love. Because I couldn’t love a day in this world without you. Georgie.”_ Peter stopped talking as the video had stopped and Georgie said to the video of her husband’s last words.

“Mon amour.” then turned to Kelly, “Thank you.” Georgie then pulled Kelly into a hug as she sobbed. After a few minutes, Georgie told Kelly,

“Go to him and tell him that you love him everyday because you never know when it could be the last. Go now.” then led him out of her house. Kelly went back to his car and drove over to Matt’s house.

* * *

Kelly arrived a few minutes later. He put his car in park, then got out and started to walk up to Matt’s door. He stopped just short of the door as he had remembered the fight, he and Matt had a couple nights ago. Kelly didn’t know how Matt would react to him being here. So instead of facing the inevitable he turned around and began to walk back to his car. Kelly got maybe a few steps away from Matt’s front door when he heard the door open behind him and Matt’s voice say,

“Kelly?” Kelly turned around but didn’t move from his spot as he told Matt who was in front of him,

“Hey. I just came here to check on you and to apologize for what I said that night after the barbeque. I really am sorry for what I said. I know I shouldn’t have said it and I wish I could take it back but I can’t. So I’m sorry.” Matt stood near the door then moved to the side and gestured for Kelly to come in as he asked,

“Do you want to come in so that we could talk?” Kelly shook his head. He told instead, 

“I really shouldn’t. I don’t want to screw up anymore than I already have. We would just start fighting again and I don’t want that anymore. So I’m just gonna go. I hope I’ll see you next shift.” Then continued his walk back to his car. Kelly was maybe three steps away from his car when he felt a hand on his arm. Matt turned him around just as Kelly questioned,

“Matt, what are you d-“ but he never got the chance to even finish his question because Matt, very gently and lovingly, kissed him. Kelly stood there frozen unable to think or move. Matt pulled away and placed his forehead on Kelly’s before he sighed in content. He then looked into Kelly’s eyes as he whispered,

“I’m in love with you, too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again. Hope you’re enjoying my story! I'm sorry again for how late I am in updating it. I hope you all are not disappointed in me. 
> 
> Please don’t forget to leave a comment on what you thought. 
> 
> Do you all want me to give a preview of the next chapter? Or do you want me to leave it as a surprise?


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